I Want My God Damn Respect And I Want It NOW!
Today is my birthday. Don’t worry, there will be no celebrating today. The voice in my head tells me I don’t deserve to celebrate today and I think he’s right. I turned 30 today and I definitely don’t deserve to celebrate because I haven’t come close to accomplishing what I’m capable of.
I’m my own harshest critic so I don’t really ever make excuses but we live in a really fucked up place and I’ve done nothing but fill my heart with hate and get angrier every day. Just know it didn’t have to be this way. Just also know by the time I’m done here I will burn this sports industry to the ground (for the better). One too many days have gone by without getting what I deserve and it’s going to be a price they pay for it. I promise you that.
Let’s just cut right to the chase. I’m the best at this. I just am. That might sound cocky to you, but it’s just the truth. I’m not saying I know every sport better than every human alive but when you boil it down, I am THE best at this. Which again, might sound cocky but it’s just true. Nobody bats an eye when they refer to Michael Jordan being the best.
A: If you have any self pride, you should believe you are the best at the thing you strive to be.
B: I was born weird. Trust me, I pay a price mentally for this ability. I see things others don’t. I get feelings about things. I see visions of things in the future. I’ve been doing this since I was three years old. It’s like learning a foreign language. It’s already too late for you. It’s just easier to see this stuff and remember it the way I did as a kid. I won my first fantasy league in 2006 against 40 year old men. That’s not supposed to happen.
C: I’m the least biased person you will ever meet. I am a Ravens fan that currently actively roots against his own team. I praise individual Yankee players routinely and I hate those arrogant pricks from the top down. You think I wanted to write puff pieces about Cale Makar and Devon Toews? I suck at a lot of things. I’m better at this than you and I know I’m right because I’m smart and my thoughts are valid. Trey only lives in full Chinese Farmer mode from now on. If you know, you know.
It’s really not meant to sound arrogant. I’m genuinely a pretty good guy unless you cross me. I also recognize I am a living breathing thing. My brain only goes in so many different directions. I can’t write a Flyers blog like Andrew. I can’t edit a video game series like Sophie. You get my point and I know I can’t win this war by myself. I want an army of the most talented people on my side because they know this sports industry is broken and it’s past time to fix it.
I have always been told I was going to be a late bloomer. That for whatever reason I was going to make an impact later in life. Which kinda leads me on a couple of side tangents.
I kinda already have changed the world? There are going to be so many people that list this place on their resume. I’ve had a positive impact on so many people. So many talented people because I don’t put up with anything less.
I used to think I was born in the wrong time period. I thought that maybe I was born too late (I also more recently think I could have lived past lives but don’t tell anyone). That I would have been better served as some sort of personal trainer during 300 Spartan times. More recently I think I was maybe born too soon. I’ve been proven to be ahead of the times on multiple occasions in this business and have been copied elsewhere on plenty of platforms. I also now think that I was probably born in the right time period. A revolution is coming and I know I’m an important part.
Good times create weak people. Weak people create bad times. Bad times create strong people. Strong people create good times. Weak people have broken the sports industry and you have no idea how fucking angry I am to change it. You can view me as the villain in this story and I really don’t care. I’ve learned that you’re always going to be the villain in someone else’s story. The story is always in the eyes of the beholder.
Who knows. Maybe I’ll go down as Napoleon invading Russia. That my style wasn’t meant to succeed as a form of journalism. I’m okay with that. I’ve already gone through and processed it. I’d just be very careful about doubting me. I can do anything I put my mind to and you should see me when I truly get mad. It’s something…
I’ll let some people behind the curtain here with one thing. I’ve been trying a new form of therapy for a little while now. It’s not the type of therapy you think it is unless you really talk to me every day. Trust me, being this gifted in a unique way comes with plenty of curses. This method works for me. I’m seeing the board so clearly right now I just went 24-1 in a fantasy hockey league after watching hockey for one season by simply trusting my eyeballs. The voice in my head never lies to me and right now the poison has all been drained. I want what I deserve.
I had a weird thought the other day but I think it’s true. Remember Space Jam? No, not the garbage version LeBron made. The OG one with Michael Jordan.
Well… let’s have a thought together. If the Monstars challenged you to any game of your choosing. Just remember they get to zap the talent of any other person on the planet just like they did with the players in the NBA. What game would you challenge the Monstars in? Tell me you wouldn’t trust me with your life to win a fantasy league for you just like the Looney Tunes did with Michael Jordan? You know it’s true and I’m not trying to brag. It’s just time for me and the rest of my team to be properly compensated for it.
You could write a 8,000 page novel about different embarrassing stories this industry has suffered. Skip Bayless makes millions and is famous because he called Troy Aikman gay. Does that seem fair to you?
What about Stephen A Smith who has more money than he knows what to do with? That guy insults us on an every day basis. If you need examples, I got plenty of ignorant things he’s done. Why should he make more money than me if I’m more talented than him?
What about Mike Tirico who makes a shit ton of money but on the down low is a big time scumbag that harasses women. Why is he on TV and I’m not? Nobody even gives a fuck about that guy and networks fight to keep talentless hacks because they think that’s the only alternative.
Keep in mind, this doesn’t exist in any other industry. The smart people in other industries dominate their field. The idiots who purposely make fools of themselves are the ones rolling in it. AND you wonder why I’m angry all the time? You wonder why I act the way that I do? They pissed off the wrong dude and I’m coming for all of them.
At this point, there is no close second. I am the single most disrespected sports analyst on the planet. I have somehow been painted as the villain despite the fact that I’m the one that has been wronged. How many more days do I need to wait to be credited for calling Westbrook? How bout Trubisky? What about Deebo? I got thousands at this point being more right than any human alive.
I would be here all day if I went down every single example because it happens on a daily basis. Do you think advertisers should offer to pay us 5 cents a month for a banner ad? Think that was pretty disrespectful? OR how about a former employee who in a week span asked for a letter of recommendation while simultaneously deciding to unfollow me on Twitter? That ACTUALLY happened.
I do believe the people within our Vendetta circle do respect me. However, the longer this nonsense goes on the angrier I become. Do you think Dave Portnoy gets offered to work a 5 cent advertising job for a 45-hour shift of work? Not a fucking chance. I am an asset. I’ve already been offered a lot of money for this puppy. Wait until you see how much I’m worth when this new design comes out?
You have no idea how angry I am. I wake up pissed every single day. I work harder than you. I do not stop working. You should see what I look like right now without my shirt on. Again, I’m not even trying to sound like a crazy person. I am training all day because I’m so angry. Seriously I’m kinda scared of how strong I am right now. I did a one arm pull up the other day and I honestly didn’t think it was actually possible. Here you can see for yourself.
My work ethic can’t be matched. My eye for talent can’t be matched. Our following is growing rapidly. There are almost too many eyeballs on us right now for us to be ignored for too much longer. We already have a government contract. I will never stop. Even when I’m successful, I have a stupid good memory. I will never not remember the bad times. Money can’t change me. I’ve been through too much. Winning just isn’t enough anymore. I want to annihilate all of them.
It didn’t have to be this way. I worked at a cool baseball analytics company before being laid off because of COVID, being asked to reapply and come back, then being told never mind I wasn’t being rehired after spending hours retaking the tests I had already passed the first time.
I also worked for a minor league baseball team where I was paid nothing while my thoughts were ignored while being tasked with doing the shit jobs around the clubhouse. I tried to tell everyone how good Michael King was just from seeing him in person. They didn’t want to listen to me. Now he’s one of the best pitchers in baseball.
Look, maybe I was never going to get my dream to be a general manager even though I’d be damn good at it. At least covering sports in the media route seemed like the next best alternative. This business is corrupt and broken. Going out on my own really wasn’t the plan. Promises were broken, trust was broken, disrespect was constant.
Shit, I invented the way modern linkbacks are done in sports publications. You think I get credit for that shit? Not a chance. I started Fansided’s fantasy football department. You think I get credit for that shit? Not a chance. Wait until you see what I have coming. Oh, I’m not close to done. Trust me, I don’t sleep. You could never expect more out of me than I do from myself. We got plenty more in the chamber.
We’re going to do things my way now. My way seems to work better than everyone else’s when it comes to this industry. The dopes are going to continue to be attacked because this is the way it has to be now. We’re going to keep doing out of the box shit and pushing boundaries because that’s what real people want. We’re going to change the way shit is done because part of my responsibility is to better inform the common fan as well.
I’m tired of this. I really am. Can you imagine if I told you there was a scout available for hire that had a 100 percent success on each of the last three wide receiver draft classes? Have you seen the cost of these veteran receivers? Any NFL team would be an idiot to not hire that guy yet here I am broke selling fudge to college kids for extra spending money. I don’t really have words for it. It’s just laughable at this point that I’m not receiving phone calls from teams at this point when it comes to NFL Draft time.
My best friend Ryan said an interesting comment to me recently that I thought hit the nail on the head. Can I really be that bad of a guy if every pet/animal loves me at first sight? They’re always the best judge of character. You know what? He’s so god damn right.
Every dog I have ever met loves me including Ryan’s dog Max. My Ex-girlfriend’s cat loved me. We used to have this rabbit and it really only liked me for some reason. I wouldn’t even consider myself a hardcore pet person either. I’ve never owned a pet in my life.
I’m a hero. I sent a high school student to Madison Square Garden with a media pass. What did you do with your Tuesday afternoon? I’m so cool and it’s time the rest of you start to realize it. In reality, I’m really just misunderstood for the most part. I would go to war for any of the closest people in my life including the inner group with the company. I’m the best friend you could ever have because I’m always loyal to those I care about.
The only thing I really know is it’s time. It’s time I get the damn respect I deserve because it’s far past due at this point. I refuse to settle for anything less than what I deserve. You all have been warned.