Matthew Berry
Matthew Berry is so wrong about Tom Brady that I’m willing to risk my entire reputation on it. Is Berry game enough to take my bet? (Joe Faraoni / ESPN Images)

For some reason, Matthew Berry is the face of fantasy football experts. God only knows why, he’s not pleasant to look at. In fairness, he admits it himself so don’t even start with me. One of my missions here at Vendetta is to change the way we think about fantasy football.

There is nothing more elementary than going on TV and talking about why you would take Ezekiel Elliott over Saquon Barkley in an 8 team snake draft. That’s SOOOOOO PATHETIC! Again, that’s ESPN for you. The problem is most people just don’t how uneducated they are by participating in snake drafts every single year. Then again, we elected the orange man so it’s not a surprise this country has fallen in love with the snake draft.

Matthew Berry is the face of this rudimentary system. In predictable fashion, he often gets caught up in the hype that a typical 8 year old would that plays fantasy. Last year Berry was all in on the Browns. He loved Baker Mayfield and Odell Beckham.

Three weeks into the season he had to do a segment on his show about why you should drop Baker Mayfield because he humiliated himself.

Of course, I have been trying to tell all of you for years now that Baker Mayfield is an average quarterback prospect and that I’d rather set myself on fire than draft Odell Beckham in fantasy.

Every single year I seem to put Matthew Berry in my back pocket. The only difference now is I get to document it. By the way, Berry… if you’re reading this you have an open invite to join my fantasy league. I’ll warn you, it’s an auction league so you probably won’t like it since that’s what respectable fantasy players do.

Every year Berry falls for the cheese. The team that gets way too much hype because the 9-year-old that knows nothing about football falls right into the same trap.

Here we go again. Berry recently released his Love, Hate column for ESPN. In the least surprising development of all-time, Berry is all in on the Bucs and Tom Brady.

Tom Brady, Buccaneers: OK, so yes, after talking up continuity and the need for rushing touchdowns in my Draft-Day Manifesto and above in the Prescott write-up, I’m now talking up a 43-year-old non-mobile QB on a new team and in a new offensive system. But then again, when we are talking about Tom Brady, conventional wisdom goes out the window. He’s a genetic marvel, and on a simple, global scale, people who bet against Brady always end up losing. I’m in on Brady this year, and it’s not just that he’ll be playing with arguably the best total group of pass-catchers he’s ever had in his career. This is an offensive system that is going to throw, throw and throw some more. Jameis Winston was QB5 in this system last season despite 30 interceptions. Think about Carson Palmer going to Arizona toward the end of his career. After averaging just 14.4 PPG in his two seasons in Oakland, Palmer came to Bruce Arians in Arizona and crushed. As a 36-year-old in 2015, Palmer was QB5. Playing in warm weather can only help (Weeks 9-17: five home games, a bye week, road games against Carolina, Atlanta and Detroit). The idea that Brady is washed is absurd (before everyone on the Patriots got hurt last season, Brady had 20-plus fantasy points in five of his first six games), but here’s something I don’t have a stat for. Brady is an extremely rich man, he has six rings and he will be a unanimous first-ballot Hall of Famer. There is no reason for him to leave New England and do this except one: He wants to prove he can do it without Bill Belichick. Similar to Peyton Manning’s first season in Denver, you have a highly skilled and motivated QB in a fantasy-friendly offense. Every possession in close? That’s gonna be a cheap TD pass. Bucs up big? Still gonna be throwing. Entirely a gut call, but I believe Brady wants to not only win this season but put up massive “told you so” numbers while doing it. You either believe or you do not. I believe. I’m in on Brady as a QB1 this season.”

This is so laughable and predictable. I’ll tell you what, Berry. Let’s make a bet. I’ll bet you that Tom Brady has fewer fantasy points than Jameis Winston did a year ago. As you mentioned, Winston finished as QB5 last year so Brady should have no problem doing that since you mentioned the turnover problems.

By the way, there’s a zero percent chance Brady matches what Winston did but since he’s on your love list maybe your stupid enough to take the bet. Here are the terms. Winston scored 318.82 fantasy points through week 1-16. If Brady exceeds that I will humiliate myself by punching myself in the face live on camera and will write a blog about how snake drafts are an acceptable form of fantasy football.

If Brady fails to produce what Winston did a year ago, you have to make me a permanent host on your fantasy show where I get half your salary and you have to join my fantasy league. This way I can literally oblierate you in fantasy every year instead of just telling you how wrong you are.

I’ve been told you’re “the expert” and that “Jameis Winston stinks” so there’s no reason why you shouldn’t take this bet. Classic ESPN. Falling right for the cheese. Let me know if you’re game enough to take my bet.