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Scott In Cincinnati Is Having The Time Of His Life

Scott In Cincinnati

Scott In Cincinnati
Scott in Cincinnati is having the time of his life. Scott risked it all for his Bengals fandom and is currently winning life. (David Butler II-USA TODAY Sports)

Scott In Cincinnati Is Having The Time Of His Life

Scott in Cincinnati has had a tough go of it. His wife hates him, his kid hates him because his wife hates him, and he’s stuck working as the local garbageman but he’s always friendly if anyone ever waves. Scott doesn’t really enjoy life but he lives, breaths, and dies Bengals football.

Scott doesn’t have much else. As a kid, Scott watched Boomer Esiason, Ickey Woods, and Cris Collinsworth while falling in love with the team. The Bengals always found a way to break his heart, but it felt right. One of these days, the Bengals were going to be on top of the world and so was he.

As the years went by, things got worse for Scott. He married his high school sweetheart Marissa because the real girl that he was in love with, she didn’t want anything to do with him. The girl of his dreams never believed in Scott and the vision he had. The Bengals were going to be part of his life. The high school sweetheart decided to marry Scott but really never had his best interest in heart. She just saw Scott as fun in high school and decided to stick with the ride.

Scott eventually found himself in a rock and a hard place. The pandemic hit at the worst possible time. Just as Scott was ready to make a career switch and open up that Skyline Chili restaurant down the street, Covid hit and put him on the edge of bankruptcy. Scott was spending too much money already on season tickets and gambling debts. But how could you blame him? The Bengals were all Scott had left.

Of course, it was hard for Marissa to continue to buy into her current lifestyle. She had lost the game of life. Scott was a genuinely good guy but he was down bad and had his fair share of vices. Marissa eventually reached a breaking point because Scott decided to double down. She was down. Divorce papers filed. It was over.

Scott always believed that this was the year that the Bengals were going to win the Super Bowl. It was the hope that killed it, but he had no choice. Things were going to get better for Scott. He just had to continue to believe that was possible.

Excitement was in the air. Joe Burrow was drafted by the franchise first overall. Zac Taylor was hired as a bright disciple by Sean McVay. Cincinnati also had a pair of hot young receivers in the form of Tee Higgins and Ja’Marr Chase. It also felt like the tide was turning. The Bengals were spending money bringing in guys like Trey Hendrickson! This was a new team. Yes, the Bengals were in a bit of a rebuild, but Scott believed. After coming off a 4 win season, Scott was convinced this was the year the Cincinnati Bengals were going to win the Super Bowl.

Scott was already down bad. His wife was in the process of leaving him. His kids already thought he was crazy because they think he loves the Bengals more than his own kids. Sometimes, they’re actually right. When CJ Uzomah caught that touchdown last year, it was better than watching his kid strike out looking because little Tommy doesn’t want to open his eyes because he’s scared of the ball.

Scott was on the verge of losing it, so he said fuck it. Scott did the unthinkable because he was already too far in. After a fight with his soon to be ex-wife, Scott decided to drive down to the local loan shark and gamble his entire house on the Bengals to win the Super Bowl at +15000 odds. What did Scott have to lose? Scott was already miserable. He just wanted one last run with the Bengals to show the entire world that Scott was the only rational one left.

As the year went by, even Scott’s closes allies thought he was a little bit insane. They loved the Bengals too, but c’mon. This team hasn’t won a playoff game since 1991. Sure, there was hope that things could turn around but Super Bowl immediately after a 4 win season? It just felt like Scott should pack up and move to Russia now while learning to pick up his new hobby running a KHL fantasy hockey league.

Scott never gave up. As Cincinnati won the 2021-22 AFC North crown, he laughed at his haters and lit a cigar every time Joe Burrow does. The Raiders with an interim coach in our house? Scott laughed at the idea that he was in trouble. A road playoff game in Tennessee against Ryan Tannehill? Joe Burrow doesn’t lose that game. Down 21-10 at halftime against Kansas City? We have been here before. Scott wasn’t worried, Burrow’s balls are too big for him to lose.

Scott is one game away from changing his life forever. When everyone thought he was crazy, Scott risked it all on the Cincinnati Bengals because he believed his time was now. His Ex-Wife can’t believe it. She’s kicking herself every day. His kids no longer hate dad even if the Bengals lose in the Super Bowl. All is not lost. Scott found a new girl at the strip club that he really likes and she’s invested in everything Bengals because that’s what turns him on the most. Nothing does it to Scott quite like seeing Joe Burrow light up another cigar.

One more win. One more win. One more win and Scott changes his life forever. It’s either Russia and his new buddies in the KHL fantasy league or Scott becomes a millionaire and gets to tell the story about how the Bengals changed his life forever. At this point, Scott doesn’t even care. It’s been a wild ride and he’s having the time of his life. Let’s all keep Scott in our thoughts when Super Bowl Sunday hits.

PS: Fuck Mina Kimes. I know this has been a hot topic and I don’t really want to dedicate another blog to her. So let me just say this. The world does not revolve around you, Mina. Your opinion about Jimmy Garoppolo does not become validated because after he beat the Rams six times in a row, the seventh game he lost by a field goal on the road in a game where Jaquiski Tartt wins the game for San Francisco if he catches the meatball interception. The fact that Mina tried to validate her opinion because the 49ers lost to the Rams in the NFC Title game after beating the Rams six times in a row proves how dumb she is.

Keep in mind, Kimes also told us all about how Josh Allen sucks. Anybody that had that opinion prior to the draft doesn’t have a brain. She also accused Dave Portnoy of rape. Then refused to backtrack it when the story was proved to be false.

So fuck Mina Kimes. The world isn’t about her. Instead, let’s celebrate the Bengal fans around the world. 10-year-old Jimmy just had the best day of his entire life. Joe Burrow made him believe anything is possible and that’s worth celebrating. Let’s celebrate those real people rather than the clowns in journalism that base their entire existence on arguing bad sports topics.

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