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MLS Fans Are Not Real, Prove Me Wrong

MLS
(Photo Credit: Athletics NYC)

MLS Fans Are Not Real, Prove Me Wrong

I see that the stadiums are full. I see that ESPN airs their games on primetime. I understand the MLS has a lot of funding. Truly though, does anyone care about the MLS? I have literally never had a conversation with a real MLS fan. Do they even exist? I’m not so sure.

For one, Americans clearly don’t rock with soccer. They don’t like watching some foreign sport that’s too difficult for them to master. That’s why they stick to sports like American football where you can watch athletic fatsos push each other around.

Now even the Americans who do appreciate the beautiful game aren’t watching the MLS. They know where to go to watch the highest quality soccer and that’s either at the international stage or the top European leagues. The English Premier League does some serious views in America, so it’s not like there aren’t people who like the game that live in the US. It’s more just about how the MLS isn’t as skilled, competitive, and flashy as the big leagues.

It’s not just the fans, it’s seen in our players too. Where do the best American players play? Christian Pulisic, Chelsea. Giovanni Reyna, Borussia Dortmund. Weston McKennie, Juventus. The list goes on and on, but all our top guys are playing somewhere in Europe — not in America. If American players don’t want to play in the league, why would any American watch it?

Now ESPN tells us the MLS averaged about 250,000 viewers in the regular season. I want to meet every single one of these 250,000 and see how much they even know about the MLS. I’m guessing the majority of these viewers are probably just surfing channels while their dinner cooks and don’t care about the MLS. There’s just no way anyone cares about the league. Plain and simple.

Now if you want a little more serious breakdown of why the MLS is bad, here you go. Serenity did a decent job.

The MLS is actually mid-season right now. Did you know that? No, you did not, don’t lie. I sure didn’t and the funniest part is I could say that it’s “in season” any time in the year and most people would believe me because no one cares enough to track the league. Seriously though, if someone can find me a legitimate MLS fan, I’d love to meet them because I cannot believe they actually exist. And if they do, they objectively have to be an NPC.

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