Alex Chick Can Suck It
Chick is starting to smell himself a little bit too much. I can not, in good faith, have that. Alex Chick can suck it.
It’s no secret I don’t bring much to the Vendetta Table. I stream occasionally, The Lead Word hasn’t recorded in forever, and Trey has, literally, zero expectations that I do anything productive for this company. That being said, I have a very particular set of skills. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like Alex Chick (God damn I am a comedic genius).
The False Crown
Alex likes to market himself as the shit-talking king of Vendetta. Truthfully, Chick doesn’t even crack the top five in the company.
- Gavin
- Emma Brown
- Jarrod
- Jamie Hammell (she flamed me at Ursinus)
- Karl
Those five all have better shit-talking skills than Chick (I’m easily top three but adding myself to the list felt a little too self-serving). They don’t have the volume Chick has but, their quality is much higher. You, sir, sit on a throne of lies.
Think about it. If Steph Curry shot 50 threes a game but only made 10, you wouldn’t think he was a great shooter, would you? That’s Chick. His volume is unmatched (credit where credit is due) but he misses more often than not.
Chick likes to think he’s Steph. In reality, he’s Ben Simmons.
His Takes Are Bad And He Should Feel Bad
Alex might not be the king of shit-talking but, he’s in the mix for the king of bad takes. Chick is like the Colin Cowherd of Vendetta.
He spends a lot of time talking out the side of his neck. He’s right once in a blue moon but more often than not you find yourself saying “what the fuck?”:
More than anything, don’t forget Alex once said the Raiders defense could win your fantasy league.
He Lacks Verbal Comprehension Skills
It’s no secret that recently Vendetta has been mired by drama. Former employee, [redacted], quit following his controversial decision to change the format of his podcast.
Alex, like many Vendetta employees, came to Jackson Law’s defense in the aftermath of the original decision. Something I had no issue with. In fact, on a recent episode of Cheese, I said that coming to Jackson’s defense was fair, although, at a certain point, support turns to dick riding.
As mentioned on Cheese, supporting Jackson in the moment was awesome, however, two weeks later is OD.
Never did I say you should not support Jackson Law (in fact I specifically cited Scott Logush for immediately coming to Jackson’s side after the drama occurred). Chick did not get that memo and has implied, in the slack and on Cheese, that my comments were out of line.
Additionally, Chick’s idea that Jackson is unwilling to defend himself, I feel specifically, constitutes dick riding.
You can’t tell me the above text doesn’t mean Chick thinks Jackson is too pussy to stand up for himself. Something we know from the experience with the All Day AJay crew departure is not the case.
Maybe I have a higher opinion of Jackson Law than Alex Chick. If that is the case, Chick needs to look inward and reflect on why he has such a low opinion of Jackson Law.
In Conclusion
I don’t hate Alex Chick. In fact, not too long ago, I considered Alex one of my favorite new people on the site. However, I have one job on this site, and by God, I’m going to do it damn it.
I’m like Trey’s outdoor cat. I come and go as I please. No one expects much from me except that I’m lazy and a drunken asshole.
In the role of drunken asshole, it’s my job to make sure no one on the site gets too big for their britches.
It’s a job I hold near and dear to my heart. With that in mind, I’m here to tell you, that Alex Chick can suck it.
P.S. Andrew McGuinness and Karl Heiser better watch their backs. They’re next.
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