EPL: Reasons for optimism in Premier League season 2024
Football is so negative these days.
Between the skyrocketing transfer fees and wages, contrasting starkly with the cost of living crisis effecting the proletariat, the ridiculous costs of going to the games, the inevitable transformation of your local club from a public institution to a billionaires latest toy, or worse, a sports-washing vehicle for an unbelievably rich petro-state with an unfathomably atrocious human rights record, it’s understandable that football fans would be feeling glum heading into a new campaign.
Football, though, is meant to be enjoyed. It is a pastime, it’s entertainment, it’s an athletic pursuit, it’s a family weekend tradition. Football should be fun!
Here at Vendetta Sports Media, we believe in football. So let’s take a look at one reason that each Premier League club has to be optimistic for the upcoming season.
Arsenal: Last season’s title challenge, despite ultimately faltering, showed that Mikel Arteta’s revolution is, after a sputtering start, ahead of schedule. With a trio of outstanding new signings in Declan Rice, Jurrien Timber and David Raya, the Gunners boast a stronger squad this time around. Sure, they’re still likely to fall short of ultimate league glory, but this team is set for a long stretch of contention on multiple fronts.
Aston Villa: Unai Emery might be the most important acquisition made by a Premier League club in the past 12 months. The Spaniard is finally showing the English public what he’s about, turning Villa into a force. Emery has made some shrewd signings in Pau Torres and Youri Tielemans who will shore up the spine of the team whilst Moussa Diaby will provide the fireworks from the flank. Oh, they’re also in the Europe, where Emery teams always produce results.
Bournemouth: The Cherries are, to a large extent, just happy to be here. After looking like a dead certainty for relegation in the early stages of last season, they recovered well to survive comfortably. A rise up the table isn’t likely, but Bournemouth should have enough about them to once again stay up without giving their fans ulcers.
Brentford: This one was a little tougher, to be fair. Brentford is a well ran club – a model for all smaller Premier League operations to aspire to. Yet, in losing their star keeper to another club and their star striker to a long ban for gambling on matches (great work, by the way, in having a betting organisation as your shirt sponsor, guys. Ku-fucking-dos), this season could stretch the Bees fabric to its tearing point. That said, they are far from expected to go down (though stranger things have happened) so treat this season as a bit of a free hit. Blood some kids; experiment with some formations; break out some wacky set piece routines; see if you can use this season as a springboard into European contention in 2025.
Brighton: Forget Brentford! THIS is by far the most efficient operation in the Premiership. Brighton is literally the only club in the league to be operating at a transfer profit over the past five years and it’s not even close. They’re $30 million better than plucky little Luton! Brighton have earned their European adventure and are sure to bloody a few noses along the way. Enjoy it, Seagull fans. You and your club deserves this.
Burnley: Back in the Premiership, but with a whole new ethos. Rather than Sean Dyche’s fire and brimstone, defend-at-all-costs approach, Burnley will be entertainers this season under Vincent Kompany. Sure, it might not work and the team could be quickly sent back from whence they came. At least the football will be pretty.
Chelsea: Well…it can’t be as bad as last season. Surely.
Crystal Palace: Wherever Uncle Woy goes, joy follows (pipe down, Liverpool fans!).
Everton: A full pre-season of Sean Dyche’s eats-gravel-for-breakfast bellowing about defensive shape and ‘protecting the V’ should see the Toffees, for too long a defensive shambles but for the heroics of Jordan Pickford in goal, at least be able to remain in games. If Dominic Calvert-Lewin can stay fit (and if my Aunty had bollocks etc.) or if Everton buys another ready-made attacking option (now we’re really stretching reality) then they should be able to ease towards mid-table obscurity. That’s something every Evertonian would gladly take.
Fulham: Coming into a consolidation season, the Cottagers were able to keep hold of manager Marco Silva, despite the offer of Arabian riches. They might not be so fortunate with star striker Aleksander Mitrovic, though they would likely earn a substantial fee for the tempestuous Serb. With some smart reinvestment, there’s no reason why Fulham can’t repeat last season’s surprise showing.
Liverpool: For all the talk of Liverpool’s sputtering midfield makeover, they still have a very good defense and, Manchester City aside, the most sparkling array of attacking options in the Premier League. Should Alexis Mac Allister and Dominik Szoboszlai hit the ground running, there is no reason why the Reds can’t resume their tussle for league supremacy with City.
Luton Town: No matter what happens, short of a 2008 Derby-esque campaign, the Hatters are this season’s feel-good story. From the little club returning to the top flight after a three-decade absence to the storied away entrance to Kenilworth Rd. to the sheer delight of my friend and former Vendetta stalwart Gavin Daly–a Hatters tragic–there’s so much to be positive about, here.
Manchester City: If the generally accepted wisdom that players need a season in Pep Guardiola’s intricate system to adjust proves true, then how many goals might Norwegian goal-bot Erling Haaland score this campaign? 65? Is 70 on the table?
Manchester United: After a rough few weeks to open his spell as United manager, Eric ten Hag has shown that he is the business in the Premier League. He’s already cleared out a cancerous show pony in Cristiano Ronaldo and a fading champion in David de Gea. It now looks like he’s shifting a mistake looking for an opportunity to happen in Harry McGuire, and getting in £30 million for his trouble. The Dutchman has some work ahead of him, but this season should be far better than the last at Old Trafford. The days of Solskjaer and Mourinho are but distant nightmares.
Newcastle United: So much to be positive about. They’re back in the Champions League for the first time since Moses was playing as a holding midfielder in the academy, they look like consolidating their place in the top four and, by the way, they’re richer than the Catholic Church.
Nottingham Forest: After buying about 64 players before last season (subs: please check) the fans will at least know the names of the players this time around.
Sheffield United: Umm…ahhh…yeah. This one wasn’t easy. Well, the Blades are here and practically nobody outside of the red half of Sheffield expects them to make any noise. To that end, this season is so free of expectation that literally anything good happening to them is a cause for celebration.
Tottenham: Ange Postecoglou. That is all.
West Ham: A squad that had reached its logical peak has the chance to reinvent itself through the £100 windfall that was Declan Rice. They would, though, want to get a move on with that rebuild.
Wolverhampton: *crickets* Nope. I’ve got nothing. Wolves are at the mercy of the Financial Fair Play Regulations, they’ve sold or let go of many of their best players, and have now lost their tactically brilliant manager. They’re toast.
Damn…we were so close! Still, 19 of 20 isn’t bad, eh?
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