Now, I have seen a ton of movies. One of my all-time favorite things to do is watch movies. Safe to say that I’ve probably seen more movies than your average bear. That’s why I’m going to share with you my top 10 movies that you forgot kicked ass.
Going in, know that I’m playing fast and loose with the term “you forgot kicked ass”. Forgot could mean literally forgot, any movies that are not talked about anymore, or it could mean movies you’ve never heard of. Kicked ass means basically anything I think is a great movie for any reason.
I’ll also be giving you a quote and what character said the line for each movie. This quote will have absolutely zero context as to why I chose it. It could be any line from the movie that I think is awesome or funny. If you want to know why I picked it, to bad go watch the movie.
10. Next
Released in 2007 Next is one of my favorite Nic Cage movies. When it was released Next got really bad reviews because of plot inconsistencies. But who cares about that shit. You assholes keep paying Michael Bay to make Transformers movies and they make less sense than a 99 cents store (that pun sounds better if you read it out loud).
The movie kicks ass with some really awesome effects. Not to mention Jessica Biel is just as fine as ever and does the best she can with her character. Her fine ass is, honestly, the reason this movie made the list. I was really debating another movie at the tenth spot but Biel cliched it since I love her. Bad reviews and a bad turn around at the box office are probably why you forgot about it. It’s on Netflix right now if you want to check it out.
“You okay Kendall?”
Spoken by Cris
9. The Rundown
To be honest, The Rundown probably wouldn’t be on a list of movies you forgot kicked ass if you clowns had gone to see it in the theatres. The movie got great reviews from critics but lost $4 million at the box office. So it got no sequel or burn on TV. Released in 2003 it stars the Rock, Stifler, Christopher Walken, and Rosario Dawson who is the hottest thing in the Jungle. The Rock and Stifler have perfect action buddy comedy timing and Christopher Walken is amazing as a corrupt slum lord mining guy. There is even a quick cameo by Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Honestly, The Rundown is the best movie the Rock has made and you let it go to waste. This movie is the only one I’m genuinely mad is on the list. I’m mad for the Rock. I’m mad because this movie was pretty early in his acting career and this tank could have ended it before it really got started, you assholes.
Have fun.
Rando Club Guy
8. Tears of The Sun
Released in 2003 Tears of The Sun has some dope ass action scenes. Not the kind of action we are used to seeing from Bruce Willis but he plays a super believable hardcore Navy Seal. If it wasn’t for how hard it is to become a Navy Seal, I would be one and it would be because of this movie. It’s an action drama and does get kind of heavy at times due to some of the visuals. That might explain why it’s not too high up on most people’s watch lists. The final battle scene might be one of the best choreographed military scenes I’ve ever scene. Seriously, if you’re the kind of person that likes a good cry and the sound of automatic gunfire it’s on Netflix right now.
It’s time for you to become a fuckin’ man and get your people into Cameroon. Now, Cowboy the fuck up.
Spoken By Lt. Waters
7. Space Cowboys
Released in 2000, Space Cowboys is an adventure film about old guys getting shot into space. This one is made by its cast. Tommy Lee Jones, Clint Eastwood, Donald Sutherland, and James Garner really play well off of each other. The only thing that they may be missing is Morgan Freeman. Add him to this cast and you would have the single greatest collection of old guy actors under one roof. It’s an action drama but its more often than not a happy movie and the jokes come early and often.
Not sure why this is a movie you forgot kicked ass. Great box office numbers and critic reviews. Somehow you just forgot it existed. It also happens to have one of the best soundtracks ever. Frank Sinatra and N’Sync go together right?
Yeah? Well I’ve got MediCare, go ahead and shoot your best shot!
Spoken By Frank
6. Behind Enemy Lines
This is one of my all-time favorite movies. Released in 2001 Behind Enemy Lines stars Owen Wilson and Gene Hackman in a war movie that’s inspired by real life. And by “inspired by” real life, I mean yes an American pilot was shot down and spent a week avoiding capture in Bosnia but nothing else is really accurate. Regardless the movie is still awesome.
Also, my favorite thing about the movie is that one of the bad guys inspired the character design of Niko Bellic in GTA4. Seriously they even asked the same guy to voice his character but he turned them down. The movie made a shit ton of money (the only movie that made more at the box office the weekend it was released was Harry Potter) but reviews from critics are probably why you forgot about it.
Or fly for a rock star. I mean if anybody needs a good pilot it’s those guys. Everytime you turn around we’ve lost another band to some shitty hack they got flying for them.
Spoken By Burnett
5. Stranger Than Fiction/Everything Must Go
This one is a twofer because I like both of these movies and wanted to do both but couldn’t justify kicking anything else off the list. They are movies you forgot kicked ass equally. Also, it’s my list so I do what I want.
Released in 2006 Stranger Than Fiction stars Will Ferrell, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Dustin Hoffman, and Emma Thompson. Oh, Queen Latifah is in it, too, but not really. Like, she has a fair amount of screen time and lines but you could cut her out the movie entirely and it wouldn’t make a difference.
The main draw here is how Ferrell interacts with the rest of the cast. He nails the role of non-risk taking and boring (probable virgin) tax man who begins to come out of his shell due to an intervention by fate and meeting Gyllenhaal. The reason people forgot about the movie is that it’s not Ferrell’s normal brand of funny. It’s low key funny. It’s “I can read above a 5th-grade level” funny. The movie got great reviews from critics and was decent in the box office. But because it wasn’t in your face comedy people let it die but it should be a classic. It’s free with Prime Video. If you have that go check it out.
Also another bonus is Will Ferrell’s surprisingly good cover of Whole Wide World by Wreckless Eric.
You’re never too old to go to space camp dude.
Spoken By Dave
Everything Must Go was released in 2010 and is a comedy-drama. It stars Ferrell in another out of type performance. Michael Pena shines as a police detective in one of his early roles and Christopher “CJ” Wallace (if you caught the name, yes he is Biggies son) plays the fat kid.
Ferrell kills in this movie. Seriously, the dude acted his ass off. He’s still funny but again it’s a low key funny. Baby Biggie is pretty good too and he has real chemistry with Ferrell. The movie has good reviews but lost money at the box office. Which is probably why you don’t remember it. You never saw it.
You’re telling me there’s a fucking law that I can’t drink a beer on my front lawn?
Spoken By Nick
4. Oliver and Company
Released in 1988 Oliver and Company stars a whole lot of famous people. There is only one you have to worry about. Billy Motha Fuckin’ Joel. Dude absolutely kills as Dodger. He was so good that when I saw the movie as a 6 year old, it made me wish I was born a dog on the streets of NYC. Seriously, this movie is the reason I’m a huge Billy Joel fan.
If it wasn’t for the insane amount of content that Disney has you would definitely still be talking about this movie. Disney just drowned it in its own content over the years. It also doesn’t help that it was originally released the same weekend as The Land Before Time.
Your quote for this movie is special. With this being a Disney movie and all, you get a song. Yes the whole song. Billy Joel didn’t have to go this hard, but he did. He did that for you. You best recognize.
3. All The Right Moves
This one is a real throwback. Released in 1983 All the Right Moves came out 10 years before I was even born. It is low key one of Tom Cruise’s best movies. Cruise is my favorite actor ever (my favorite movie is Top Gun). There are some other talented actors and actresses just starting out in the movie too. Which is pretty cool. Lea Thompson (you probably best remember her from Back to the Future) and Chris Penn (who you probably remember from the O.G. Footloose, Rush Hour, and would have even been Stifler’s dad in American Pie 2 if it didn’t get cut).
The movie gets forgotte for a couple of reasons. First critics are assholes. The critics basically shaved points because of the happy ending. So that probably drove people away from the theatre when it came out. The fewer people that see it the less that know about it. Truth is it’s a really good movie with some really cool football scenes. Second, Cruise is in so many good movies it’s hard to remember them all. The only reason I know about it is like I said before, dudes my favorite actor. Add the fact it’s so old and you can’t be blamed for forgetting it.
And on the seventh day, they all played football.
Spoken By Stef
2. Rules of Engagement
This one is special to me. Rules of Engagement is in my top 3 movies all time because I grew up on the Marine Corps. My dad spent 8 years in the Corps. He taught me and my older brother how to pie rooms in elementary school. At night instead of bedtime stories, he told us Marine Corps stories. I’ve been able to recite The Marines Hymn by heart since I was five. I may be the closest thing you can be to being a marine without actually being one (that still isn’t close by a mile though). Even if you take away all that bias this movie kicks maximum ass.
Seriously if the number one movie wasn’t so God damn hardcore you be looking at number one. Samuel L. Jackson fucking nails this role. Outside of maybe RDJ as Tony Stark, I don’t think there has ever been a more perfect role for an actor. Tommy Lee Jones, making his second trip to our top 10, was A1 too. The energy these guys feed off each other you’d think they were the real deal.
The only reason you forgot this movie kicked ass is that A Few Good Men came out 8 years earlier in 1992. A Few Good Men is an instant classic no doubt but, Rules of Engagement is intense as fuck (if you couldn’t tell from the trailer above). Seriously, Samuel L. Jackson being cross-examined (some of which is in the trailer) is even better than Coronel Jessup in A Few Good Men. I meant that. It’s better, hands down.
Waste the motha fuckers!
Col. Terry L. Childers
1. The One
Released in 2001 Jet Li plays Gabriel “Gabe” Law and Gabriel Yulaw. Jason Statham and Delroy Lindo are multiverse cops and Carla Gugino is Gabe’s smoke show wife. This movie is balls to the fucking wall. Jet Li can choreograph a fight like no bodies business and he’s pulling overtime as the good guy and the bad guy. The special effects are great for 2001 which added to Jet Li equals some insane action scenes. This may be a sci fi movie but don’t get it twisted, it is by no means smart. This movie does one thing and that is Kick Ass. Both literally and figuratively. Who cares if it makes sense, we just want to see Jet Li punch himself in the face. Am I right?
The One got killed by critics because it wasn’t smart enough but that didn’t stop it from killing the box office. This movie is stupid fun to watch. Especially the final fight scene at the end set to Papa Roach’s Last Resort.
I am Yulaw. I am nobodies bitch. You are mine.
Spoken By Yulaw
So there you have it. My top 10 movies you forgot kicked ass. I tried to give you the streaming services that the movies were on if they were available. Sadly they aren’t all available without purchase.
I guess you could download them or stream illegally, but I could never condone such illicit behavior (wink. wink).
If you disagree that’s fine tweet me @lilfooted. Tell me what you think. But know this, it doesn’t matter what you think jabroni. This is the list. They are the greatest movies you forgot kicked ass.
