The Creepiest Music Video Ever Award Goes To Michael Jackson
The YouTube rabbit hole has been favorable to me in the past. It is solely responsible for the findings of Shakey Graves, Colter Wall, and Alex Lahey amongst others. However, it has finally fallen from grace after randomly playing the creepiest music video ever during a recent 80’s night.
I’m an 80’s baby and was reminiscing with a playlist that started fantastically with Europe’s ‘The Final Countdown’, A-Ha’s ‘Take On Me’, and AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’. Then after a few Queen songs in a row, it went into a Michael Jackson spiral. If you don’t know who Michael Jackson is my only advice would be to stop living under a rock.
‘Bad’, ‘Beat It’ and ‘Thriller’ all classic songs with videos that don’t look as out of place as others in today’s day and age. Then ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’ came on and instantly I got a bad vibe. Nothing against the song, it’s a fine song, but the video just had the creepiest of vibes right from the start.
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A young girl walking along a dimly lit street is hollered at by Michael and his buddies while he gives his best mean face. Apparently walking towards said girl while clicking your fingers is supposed to fix everything and make her feel comfortable but instead, she tries to flee. Urged on by his buddies Michael follows her down said dimly lit street, stepping in front of her once before she keeps walking. This prompts a group of his buddies to block her path.
Michael then begins throwing shapes while making the most unflattering face and gyrating towards her with his manly parts. This prompts an obviously scared lady to run down an alleyway before realizing it’s a dead end. In a last-ditch effort, she turns and walks as quickly as she can pass Michael and his buddies. Not taking the hint, Michael follows her.
They walk past an old man on a porch who instead of calling the goddamn cops gives Michael the thumbs up?!? The ‘Beat It’ singer then proceeds to hop on a parked car to show off his dance moves. As someone who has done this (albeit in a different country), it doesn’t normally get you the girl. Just usually a citation and a fine from a pissed-off cop who’s had a long shift and now has to deal with your shenanigans.
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I’ll be honest I don’t know why she stopped walking at this point. If anything pick up the damn pace. But Michael ain’t giving up.
Speaking of Cops… I get this area looks pretty rough but isn’t that even more reason for a patrol car to be scouring the area?
It’s around this point the director realizes the video looks more like ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ than the sweet love song it was supposed to be and introduces the lady’s friends. Excuse me!?! Fucking what now!?! Her friends were there and (a) didn’t try to help her and (b) didn’t call the cops!?! Who needs enemies!
We then break for a couple of minutes of Michael demonstrating his dancing skills in front of a fire hydrant that is soaking the street. Do people not respond to these things? Then we end with her hugging the man who has just tortured her for the last six minutes. Stockholm Syndrome at its absolute finest.
Given we live in a different day and age now that recently saw the ‘Me Too’ movement that put a stop to a lot of this behavior, but I still don’t get it. YouTube will beep out “God-Damn” in Panic at the Disco’s “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” yet the creepiest music video ever remains on their platform unedited? Thank God we’ve evolved. Haven’t we?
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