I Have Some Thoughts On Season Two Of Love Is Blind
I have officially seen all of season two of Love is Blind (minus the reunion episode that shouldn’t affect the post). It’s just something that needs to be talked about. I have A LOT of thoughts.
*This post might include some spoilers to season two of Love is blind. Feel free to watch the show first and bookmark this article for later.
Iyanna & Jarrette
Can we just call it as we see it here? These two suck for different reasons.
Nothing would have been funnier than to watch Iyanna reject Jarrette AFTER Mallory already turned his ass down. Watching Jarrette go 0-2 on proposals would have been one of the funniest things of all-time.
If Iyanna had any self respect for herself, no chance she accepts Jarrette’s proposal a mere hours after he already proposed to Mallory.
Jarrette is also a big time douche. No chance I’m friends with that guy. Especially after the cheese he tried to pull in Mexico with Mallory. If Mallory had been my gf, that dude is getting attacked on camera. No other way around it. He’s lucky Sal was too nice of a guy and wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Did anybody watch Jarrette? He’s out partying all night coming home at 6 am from the club with days to go till his wedding. This guy was so uninteresting that they had to show him playing PS5 because he wasn’t doing anything else.
Let’s just be honest about Jarrette; he only is married right now because he’s lonely and thought this was the best he could do. He didn’t want to be stabbed again alone in the hospital. Side note: does anybody wish they had more details on the stabbing for obvious reasons?
Iyanna is married because she sucks and thought this bum was the best she could do. Maybe it is because she’s a lowkey nightmare. You best believe I ain’t signing my life away before giving the car a test drive. You know EXACTLY what I just said.
Danielle & Nick
Nick is a brave soul. A real brave soul. I don’t totally know what to make of Nick minus the fact that he has to be insane past a level of comprehension that I can’t even conjure yet which is scary.
Nick seems like he really wants to be cool but isn’t. He likes to get himself in the mix but doesn’t want the actual smoke. That kind of guy. He literally creates his own toothpaste. He’s just a weirdo but in the strange and uninteresting way.
Danielle is straight up cancer. That’s an understatement. Dude… you have no idea. If that girl was my wife, I would pay someone to shank me in the neck so I don’t come home to her. It would be worth every penny.
Danielle is to the point where you lose faith in society because you know those people exist. It’s illegal to exile her for being cancer but it wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. I’m being dead serious. I think I would trade an eyeball to never see this woman. If you want your day to immediately become worse, have a conversation with Danielle.
Natalie & Shayne
Natalie would have been my personal favorite. She actually has a personality that doesn’t totally suck. You could get away with introducing Natalie to your closest friends and feel comfortable she won’t make a fool out of you at the bar. That’s important.
It’s actually a shame Natalie didn’t find love. Shayne should have been a good match for her but he’s too much of a tweaker. Shayne is the opposite of Natalie in this aspect. You can’t hang out with Shayne for more than two hours. It’s a fun two hours but then he tweaks out and it’s time for me to go home. Shayne just doesn’t have that feel button.
They both seem like good people. Neither are perfect. Sucks they didn’t find their match. Let’s just all be happy Shayne didn’t pick Shaina because that would have been an all-time fumble the bag moment. But we will get to her later.
Deepti & Shake
This show was literally designed for these two. I’m sure a movie has been made about them before. Deepti and Shake are both Indian but do not relate to the conservative ways of their parents. They’re with the kids.
Deepti is cool. Shake thinks he’s cool. They bond in the pods. In real life, it would have been some older family relative who went up to one of them and said “WTF are you doing? Your person is right there.
Only problem is Shake is a loser. He never suffered adversity in his life. He’s a mentally weak person. He also somehow believes he’s better than Deepti which is crazy. Has anyone seen Shake? For him to not shag Deepti is an all-time lunatic move. He will never do better unless he’s rich and buys a wife. Shake needs a good slap and I hope someone in his life does that for him.
Mallory & Sal
I feel like I’ve dated a girl like Mallory before. She’s a ride or die bitch but she also carries some toxic traits. She ain’t the one for me but she’s not a bad person. She will catch a game with you and maybe even sucker punch one of your friends. She finds a guy like Sal to balance her out.
Sal is just a really nice guy. I actually feel bad for him. He would have married Mallory but she wasn’t all in. Sal isn’t the typical guy Mallory normally goes for. Tough. Hate to see it on either side. This one could have worked.
Shaina & Kyle
That’s going to be a no for me dog. That goes for both people. Kyle is a raging psychopath. I’m crazy. He’s the type of crazy that we gotta keep an extra eye on. This dude Kyle really thought things were going well when Shaina went to bed at 7 pm and left his ass in the middle of the night. Not a joke. He really thought things were going well.
Shaina is the worst. If Danielle is cancer, Shaina is Alzheimer’s. She’s a slow death but rots every brain cell you have in your body. You don’t come back from her. At minimum, you’re punching yourself in the face for even considering dating that heathen. I don’t believe in domestic violence. But with Shaina, you almost have to volunteer your toughest female friend to fight her. Those are the rules.