Sports Media

If You Claim Multiple NFL Teams Your Moms a Ho.

Chad Bauman / NFL / September 3, 2019

The NFL season kicks off on Thursday night and I personally couldn’t be more excited to support my team. The Philadelphia Eagles.

Now, I don’t know who needs to hear this but, if you claim to have multiple NFL teams as your favorites, your mom’s a ho.

Seriously, the worst thing in the world is some dork that says they have multiple favorite teams. Like, you people are literally the worst.

To paraphrase the great Michael Scott,

If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and a multiple NFL teams Fan. I’d shoot multiple team fan twice.
-Michael Scott (sort of)

It’s the biggest cop out in sports. You win with you team. You lose with your team. You ride with your team. You die with your team. That’s the way it works. You got to be 10 toes down for the squad.

Bandwagon fans are bad but at least they have the common decency to claim one team at a time. Unlike you clowns.

“My first team sucks this year but, at least my second team still has a shot.”
-Douche Nozzle

Every time I hear that sentence I immediately want to punch the source in the ear. I have ended friendships over that sentence. If you can’t be loyal to that squad why should I believe you’ll ride for mine?

If you claim multiple NFL Teams, it’s time to grow up Count Chocula (yes that is a Wedding Crashers reference). Grow a set of balls or ovaries, Vendetta don’t discriminate, and finally, pick a team. If you need help below is a list of the NFL teams.

Throw a fucking dart and go with the one that sticks.

Still can’t decide? Check out the NFC and AFC breakdowns on The Lead Word. Maybe that will help you decide. Just make a fucking choice already.