Jarrett Stidham
Jarrett Stidham threw 3 interceptions in practice and the Boston media continues to pretend that he can play when we all know the truth. (Steven Senne-Pool/Getty Images)

Jarrett Stidham can’t play. Not even a little. How do I know? I watched him at Auburn. Apparently, Bill Belichick didn’t watch him at Auburn because he was dumb enough to draft him. After watching him in practice, Belichick now knows he can’t play either. It’s why they signed Cam Newton.

The early reports on Stidham in camp are not good. Well, unless you’re the Boston media and try to pretend and create narratives out of thin air. Stidham threw 3 interceptions in practice but don’t worry. He had a good day according to NBC Sports Boston:

“On Tuesday, second-year quarterback Jarrett Stidham had three throws that had him saying, “Baby, I’d like to have THAT ONE back!”

Stidham was thrice-picked, yes. And there will be unnecessary handwringing, cluck-clucking, chortling and panic-button smashing at the sheer weight of those numbers.

The fine print to his day? Aside from those throws, he looked really good.

Between Stidham, Cam Newton and Brian Hoyer, Stidham’s got the most live and accurate arm. He throws the best ball. He’s got command at the line of scrimmage and in and out of the huddle, and he appears to the layman to be toggling nicely between taking what’s given and pushing it into spots.”

Look I wasn’t at practice but I can already see what happened based on watching Stidham in college. The arm strength isn’t a question. It’s why he was a big time recruit. He’s not good at the quarterback stuff. You know, anticipating throws or having any sort of clue what to do with the football. This is a guy last year who got put into a game the Patriots were leading by 30, threw a pick 6, and got benched forcing Tom Brady to finish the game. DUDE CAN’T PLAY.

Tom Curran wrote the article. I don’t know much about Curran because I don’t follow the Patriots like I do the Red Sox. What I do know is he needs to clean his shit up. This is my favorite quote from the article.

“Before his first pick which was plucked by Michael Jackson, Stidham had three straight sharp completions. The one that was taken by Stephon Gilmore was taken by Stephon Gilmore. He does that stuff. And the one taken by Dugger felt like an “I wonder if this will work…” type of downfield heave.”

“The one that was taken by Stephon Gilmore was taken by Stephon Gilmore”. I’ll tell you what… fucking brilliant! The Boston media annoys me beyond belief. I can’t wait until this Stidham thing is over. If Belichick thought he had another Jimmy Garoppolo, they wouldn’t have signed Cam.