Gary Bettman
(Andrew Bucholtz)

Dear Gary Bettman, 

I have compiled a list of ways you can make the NHL a better league to play in and do business with. Why do I think I’m qualified to tell you this? It’s simple, actually. I don’t think. 

Let’s work on our expansion teams. 

The Arizona Coyotes have been in the red since they first moved to Pheonix in 1995. There’s a constant conflict in trying to get the general population to invest in this team. There isn’t a hockey soul in Phoenix Arizona. The Winnipeg Jets moved from Atlanta in 2011 for the same reason. The Florida Panthers aren’t necessarily doing fantastic things either. The fact of the matter is if teams were put into populations where hockey is already popular, it would turn into a more profitable sports 

If I were Ms. Commissioner, I would relocate the Coyotes to Quebec City or another larger Canadian city. The Quebec Nordiques moved to Colorado in 1995 to become the Colorado Avalanche. Canadians live and breathe hockey. I would most definitely move the Panthers to a new city, like Milwaukee, WI.

Canceled games? 

Sir, you have the most canceled games out of any sports commissioner ever. That doesn’t even include the most recent pandemic-ridden-corona-cup-Tampa-bay-never-should’ve-won-bubble-playoff-season-from-hell. Three lockout seasons and one resulting in an entire season cancelation are all under your belt, Mr. Bettman. 

The reason the 2004-05 NHL season was canceled was that management was playing hardball with the nearly 700 players across the league because they wanted more money. The most recent lockout was in 2013 for about the same reason. This one, however, makes even less sense. The league had just come out of a record-breaking revenue season in 2012 when the Los Angeles Kings won the Stanely Cup. But…what do I know…


Officially, a shoot is a form of tie-breaker that happens after a failed overtime. Unofficially, it brings in higher ratings and more viewers because it’s an exciting way to end the game. Hockey is a business and I understand how higher ratings and more viewers a beneficial, however, shoot-outs have virtually nothing to do with the competition. More often than not, the player who can do the most tricks with the puck on his stick is the one who scores. Snooze. Let’s put hockey back in hockey. 

Hockey Stats 

Now, I have absolutely no idea if this is your doing, Mr. Bettman. But what the actual flying New York Islander is a Dangerous Adjusted Fenwick????? Is there a cure???? 

Thank you for your time, Mr. Bettman. I’ll be patiently waiting for this upcoming season. And I can’t wait to have your job one day. Have a great day and a wonderful season!

Follow us on Instagram and on Twitter!