2023-24 English Premier League Roundtable: Mid-season check-in
We’re at the midway point of the English Premier League season. As is traditional in these parts, the assorted geniuses of Vendetta Sports Media made their EPL Predictions prior to the beginning of the 2023-24 campaign.
Our cast of “experts” (Jarrod Prosser, Jackson Fyda, Christopher Bagdonas, Trey Daubert and Jerry Walker) made their calls on a raft of topics. Let’s see who was on point and who was successful as a Frank Lampard managerial hire.
Let’s start at the top: who wins the league?
Our panel went chalk with our first question, to a man picking Manchester City to win the league for what feels like the umpteenth time on the bounce.
The Citizens currently sit in 3rd position, five points behind Liverpool and two behind upstart Aston Villa – more on them below – though they do have a game in hand.
With key men in Erling Haaland and Kevin de Bruyne due to return from injury shortly, it does feel like City has a run in them, but all in all, it’s a worrisome start for our team.
Who claims the other Champions League spots? In order of league finish, please.
All of our writers thought that Arsenal, currently 4th, would sit in a Champions League spot. Fair enough, too. Fyda thought that Manchester United would barely miss out, finishing 5th. Whilst he was a tad optimistic he wasn’t as bad as the rest of the panel, who had them finishing inside the top four.
Walker, Bagdonas and Fyda all drank the Saudi PIF Kool-Aid and picked Newcastle who, after surpassing expectations last season, are learning the ways of the yo-yo this time around. Trey and Fyda were the only scribes to see Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool 2.0 jelling this early.
Flowers to Prosser for being the only expert to pick Aston Villa to crash the party.
Who’s going down? Relegation picks, thanks.
Walker had Sheffield United avoiding the drop, which even at the halfway point of the season we can all agree was rather silly. The rest of our crew couldn’t see them staying up. To his credit, Jerry was the only person to foresee Burnley struggling.
There was, however, consensus that Plucky Little Luton would ruffle some feathers but ultimately fall back to the Championship. They’ve looked by far the best of the three promoted clubs, but if not for Everton’s 10-point deduction would be four points and a substantial goal difference from safety.
Speaking of Everton, Vendetta’s Grand Poobah Senor Daubert thought that the Toffees would go down. Whilst their penalty does see them sitting 17th, Trey couldn’t have known that was coming prior to the season. Unless he could see into the future. Oh, we know that Trey will tell us he can see into the future.
Podcast buddies Walker and Fyda had Bournemouth going down and through the first couple of months of the season, they looked bang on. The Cherries, though, have recovered well and currently sit 12th.
Of the other selections, Bagdonas may still be right about a teetering Nottingham Forest, though their recent managerial change appears to have halted their slide. Prosser tipped Wolves for the drop. He got that one very, very wrong.
Where will YOUR team finish?
Let’s address Walker’s Leeds United, since they’re not currently a Premier League side. The Whites are sitting in 4th position in the Championship with a solid chance of getting promoted back up to the Premiership next season. Now, onto teams that actually matter…
Daubert and Fyda are Gooners–both of them predicted their side to finish 2nd and given they’re only two points off that very position, we can call that a solid shout.
Bagdonas didn’t give an actual position for his Red Devils, though he did state that he thinks “the Red Devils are much closer to contending for the title than people would like to admit.” This begs the question: just how far away did the rest of us think they were?
Prosser foresaw his Everton side finishing 12th. If their 10-point deduction had not been handed down, where would they be? In 12th.
Which club will flatter to deceive?
Bagdonas and Prosser both thought that the Brighton bubble might be due to burst. Whilst their rise up the table hasn’t continued unabated, they have plateaued rather than fallen. They’re probably a little bit better than either writer predicted.
Trey and Jackson were much closer to the mark with their Chelsea call. Let’s hand it over to Fyda, who perfectly nailed Chelsea’s season to this point:
“Chelsea will have yet another rough year. Better than last year, but still rough. Their transfer policy reminds me of when I first started playing football manager. You throw everything you can at players with decent ability and decent potential without any real squad planning. The only thing that improves this year is their management. Pochettino is a legit manager. They will still have a disappointing year though, and will likely need a few more years to figure things out.“
Jerry clearly decided that he never wanted to be allowed into Australia when he disparaged St. Angelos of Postecoglou’s Tottenham Hotspur. A potential finish outside the top 10, J-Dub? C’mon! That just doesn’t happen to Big Ange, mate.
Which club will prove a pleasant surprise?
Poor Jerry. Not only did he besmirch the Patron Saint of Australia, he went and predicted Chelsea to claim a European spot! Daubert thought that Newcastle would consolidate their position, which has clearly not happened.
The remainder of our panelists all quite rightly thought that Villa would be a team to watch though Prosser, having picked them for a Champions League spot, also noted that Bournemouth’s appointment of Andoni Irarola “could prove an inspired choice.” Whilst that looks an inspired pick now, it was pretty dicey for a while there.
Golden Boot winner? And how many goals do they score?
Haaland ran the board, here. Whilst the Giant Norwegian Goal-bot has missed time with injury (do robots get injured? Perhaps we’ll label it a break down) he has still found the back of the net on 14 occasions, sitting atop the leaderboard tied with Liverpool’s masterful winger Mohamed Salah.
With Haaland set to return and Salah about to embark on an African Cup of Nations campaign, the City striker has to be the favourite to retain his crown. For the record, Walker’s 32 expected goals was the lowest total that anyone predicted.
Which signing will have the most positive impact on their team?
Both Prosser and Bagdonas screwed the pooch in selecting Andre Onana. He’s been better than the media coverage would have you believe but it’s more than fair to say he hasn’t inspired all sorts of confidence between the Old Trafford sticks.
By comparison, our other experts can be very happy with their choices.
Fyda picked James Maddison to be transformed as the pivot in Postecoglou’s attacking Spurs outfit and, before he picked up an injury (Maddison, to be clear, not Fyda) he sparkled. Jackson did come close to naming Arsenal’s Declan Rice, which would have been an equally wise choice.
And it was Rice who earned nods from Trey and Jerry. It’s exceedingly difficult to prove that you’re worth a £100 million transfer fee but Rice is doing his best to make that ludicrous amount of money seem worthwhile. He’s been the signing of the season to this point.
Conversely, who will flop?
Our panel all looked north in this section.
Bagdonas didn’t see Dominik Szoboszlai finding immediate success at Liverpool. Between that and his Onana call, he’s probably not getting a Director of Football position at your local club any time soon.
The rest of our panel ventured an hour east on the M62, finding themselves on the steps of Old Trafford. Trey, Jarrod and Jackson all foresaw Rasmus Hojlund’s struggles, though the latter pair were at pains to point out that the young striker is as much a victim of circumstances at United as anything else. Walker looked to Mason Mont taking on the “cursed” number seven shirt. Is that shirt jinxed? Who knows? What we can be certain of is that Mount has been pretty bloody awful whilst wearing it.
First manager to be “mutually consented”? (Non Julen Lopetegui division)
Kudos to It’s Called Football co-hosts Jackson and Jerry who, in a classic example of group speak sometimes being right, both picked the Blades to part way with Paul Heckingbottom.
Trey went with perennial favourite David Moyes of West Ham. His team has oscillated wildly between dreadful losses and stunning wins. As a result, Moyes is the best/worst manager in the division, depending on the week.
Chris thought that Sean Dyche would fall victim to the general incompetence that surrounds the Everton Football Club, which … fair enough. The gravel-voiced, worm-eating, disc-bearded gaffer has instead embraced the challenge at Goodison Park, which seems to get bigger by the week.
Prosser named Uncle Woy Hodgson as his most likely to do one. Whilst Palace hasn’t gotten rid – nobody wants to shoot Bambi, after all – the 76-year-old has seemed increasingly frustrated with his lot in life this season.
Finally, your most outrageous prediction for the upcoming season.
Bruno to win the PFA Player of the Year? No, Christopher. No.
Tottenham to lead the Premier League in goals scored and conceded? No, Jarrod. No.
Trey said that Arsenal, whilst not winning the league domestically, would win the actual Champions League. Clearly, this one will have to wait until the season’s end to be assessed but given the Gunners topped their group, so far so good.
Jackson’s prediction of Vincent Kompany’s Burnley defeating Manchester City at the Etihad might come true on February 1st. Watch this space…
Jerry also had a Kompany-related vision, with the former champion centre-back subbing himself into a game in a valiant attempt to stave off relegation for his Clarets. Given he’s still only 37 and does have form given he was a player/manager at Anderlecht a few years ago, it’s not outside the realms of possibility. The main question is when? With Burnley struggling in 19th position, could Walker’s prediction come true sooner rather than later?
What are your midseason Premier League thoughts? Let us know in the comments!
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