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When Will Dave Portnoy Retire From Barstool Sports?

Dave Portnoy
When will Dave Portnoy finally retire from Barstool Sports? After Penn Gaming bought 100% of the company, what exactly is he waiting for? (Jasen Vinlove/USA TODAY Sports)

When Will Dave Portnoy Retire From Barstool Sports?

Dave Portnoy is just like everyone else at Barstool Sports – a regular employee. After Barstool sold the rest of the company to Penn National Gaming, it’s only fair to ask the question that should be considered the elephant in the room. When will Dave Portnoy actually retire from Barstool Sports?

Credit to Portnoy, he did it. The guy built an empire and has more money than he knows what to do with. He’s forever etched in stone in the blog game record books. Nobody can ever take that away from the guy. That’s the reality regardless of whether you like him or not.

However, at what point is enough, enough? Portnoy doesn’t need to do half the things he’s currently doing. At this stage of the game, he’s nothing more than a animal at the circus. Dance monkey dance. His playbook right now is very sad and predictable.

Portnoy’s new thing is rooting for Tottenham. He doesn’t know anything about Spurs. It’s a cry for attention. Dance monkey dance. He literally doesn’t even know the name of the team as evidence by his Tweets. COYS stands for Come On You Spurs. It’s outrageous but that’s his playbook. Get more viewers that are unfamiliar with Barstool. He doesn’t care about soccer. He cares about attention.

Prior to that, Portnoy’s thing was starting a podcast with an 18-year-old because he wanted an in through the Tik Tok world. He didn’t care about how creepy it is that a 40 year old man wants to hang around with teenagers. Dance monkey dance. The eyeballs were there so Portnoy went to the circus to get his attention even if he had to stoop to a ridiculous level to do so.

His new girlfriend is also half his age and only dates him for the money. Everybody knows that’s the case but good for him I guess. Portnoy isn’t even in the office anymore. He just prances around Miami doing his handful of shows. That’s it.

At what point is enough, enough? Just retire and drink High Noons all day. That’s what he wants to do anyway. The circus stuff is outrageous. Why not just be done with it?

Dave Portnoy won’t retire anytime soon despite the fact that he doesn’t even own a single percentage of his company anymore. There is only one reason. He’s an attention whore. That’s all it is. If Cricket becomes popular, he will start posting videos on that too. It’s the playbook.

Whatever the over/under is for his retirement announcement, take the over. It’s a lock.

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