Would You Make Out With Auston Matthews And His Voluptuous DSLs?

Trey Daubert/NHL/February 21, 2022

Would You Make Out With Auston Matthews And His Voluptuous DSL’S?

We know that Auston Matthews cleans up on the ice. Matthews is the face of the Maple Leafs while putting together another unreal season notching 59 points in 45 games thus far. Are we sure that Matthews is cleaning up off the ice with the puck bunnies?

Story time…

In a recent game against the Penguins, Matthews ran head first into the goal post while chasing after Sidney Crosby. Matthews lost a tooth in the process.

Auston Matthews is headed for the dentist chair 🦷 pic.twitter.com/jeCZ1Pj9iU
— Tim and Friends (@timandfriends) February 18, 2022

Since Matthews ran into the post, he lost a tooth and has been rocking these voluptuous DSLs (If you don’t know what DSL stands for, use Urban Dictionary and figure it out). Some jackass reporter asked Matthews a stupid question. He responded by giving this awesome sarcastic answer.

Auston Matthews on his incident with the crossbar. 💀 pic.twitter.com/vw7LBV6CnR
— BarDown (@BarDown) February 21, 2022

Funny and rocking these juicy ass lips? Oh, that’s a puck bunnies dream right there. Don’t kid yourself, you looked at his lips too. You wanted a piece of those bad boys. You wish there was a little mayo on the side so you can pick it off. Just admit it. Matthews is a man rocket. Who knows what’s lurking around in that stache?

I also want it on record; I have no idea if Matthews is a switch hitter. DSL is just the only way to properly describe what he’s got going on. Certainly a compliment. I have some thick lips on me too. Generally, interested parties seem to enjoy them along with my changing eye color. It’s all part of the package.

Is Jamie Benn Into Squirters?

Would you make out with Auston Matthews? Quit playing. You know you want a piece of those lips! Maybe the only thing the Leafs are missing to win a first round postseason series is for Matthews to make out with one lucky fan? We may or may not have a Leafs fan on staff that would be willing to do it.

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