Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez. Photo Credit Getty Images

Jennifer Lopez is sexy as fuck. That’s it. That’s all you need to know.

At 50 years old, not only is J. Lo sexier than 90% of chicks half her age, but I’d give my left nut and three fingers for a run at her.

During the Super Bowl Halftime show J. Lo made millions of women, old and young, feel supremely inadequate. For us guys watching the game with our girls (or in cases like mine, our moms), we had to pretend to be unrealistically interested in where the host bought the guacamole.

Sure the best time for a Jennifer Lopez post would have been immediately after the Super Bowl but, WCW wasn’t a thing back then. So back off, bitch.

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Relaxed and recharged. ?

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Jenny from the block has been the one from jump. The release of her music video for Love Don’t Cost a Thing suspiciously coincides with the timing of when I discovered masturbation. Coincidence? You tell me.

So that’s why J. Lo is this week’s Vendetta Woman Crush Wednesday.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE

Look, I get it. I fucked up, I forgot to do WCW last week. I know it’s not much of an excuse but, my ability to track the days of the week during quarantine has been nonexistent.

That’s why my bitch ass is giving you a twofer this week.

Introducing this weeks co-WCW, Shakira.

I love everything about Shakira. I love her accent, I love her songs, and most importantly, I love her hips.

If J. Lo gets the left nut then Shakira gets the right. She is probably the only woman on the planet that could come close to Jenny from the block.

BTW, the Spanish versions of her songs (do not continue without clicking the link, trust me, you do not want to not click the link) are usually better than the English versions.

Congrats to this weeks co-Vendetta WCW Shakira.