A Recipe For Greatness: Chicken and Heisman QB Candidates
With North Carolina quarterback Sam Howell recently announcing his partnership with Bojangles, and Oklahoma quarterback Spencer Rattler signing a deal with Raising Cane’s, should all Heisman QB candidates sign deals with fast food chicken chains?
The answer is unequivocally yes.
Can you imagine the level of competition this will bring between the chains? Chick-Fil-A already made every other fast food chain create their own chicken sandwich because their combination of fried chicken, toasted bun and pickles was so superior. Now put every college fan base on edge by having their star QB sign with a particular chain. What an idea. The commercials, the subtle Twitter jabs, the warring fan bases only eating at particular restaurants. It would be mayhem. And nothing knows mayhem better than college football.
I’m in full support of this and I’ve already solved the dilemma for the other candidates concerning who they should sign with.
Georgia QB J.T. Daniels: Chick-Fil-A
Daniels will sign with Chick-Fil-A. The chicken-only juggernaut was founded in Atlanta so it makes sense that a Bulldog player signs that deal. While the Athens-Atlanta rivalry may be a bit heated (Georgia-Georgia Tech for all you non-college football fans) it can be set aside for the sake of money. And isn’t that the beauty of America and America’s game? Capitalism at its finest.
Clemson QB D.J. Uiagalelei: Zaxby’s
Update: It has since come to my attention that after this post was published, D.J. signed with Bojangles. This is truly unfortunate, but good for him. My analysis from earlier will remain.
The successor to Trevor Lawrence should sign with Zaxby’s. It just makes sense. D.J. is a well-rounded quarterback with a lot of arm strength, a good sense of the game, but we only have a small sample size of what he can do, so we don’t know fully what to expect. That same description can be applied to Zaxby’s meals. You know you’re getting quality from the 4-6 chicken tenders in each basket. The basket also has a good sense of itself in adding a slice or two of Texas toast. But much like we don’t know what to expect with D.J. this year, you never know what to expect when it comes to Zaxby’s crinkle fries. Are they soggy? Are they crisp and fresh? You’ll have to wait and find out.
Alabama QB Bryce Young: Popeye’s
We didn’t see much of him last year, but he plays at Alabama and is tied for 247Sports highest ranked recruit ever (0.9994). He’ll be good, likely very reliable, and will probably torch SEC defenses. While a lot of people know of him, to others he may come out of nowhere. So it only makes sense that he signs a deal with Popeyes. Much like Young, a lot of people know about Popeyes, but until their new chicken sandwich dropped, a fair amount of people didn’t give it a second thought (at least in NC). But it’s new, it’s fresh, and it’s an alternative to whatever they’re serving in Georgia. The territorial rivalry between Alabama and Georgia is great, although Popeyes being based in Louisiana could present some issues. Regardless, this is the right choice.
USC QB Kedon Slovis: Jollibee
I know it’s not really what Southerners would consider a fast food chain, but it’ll have to do. California has yet to be graced by some of the aforementioned chains, and have since been plagued by overrated burgers – cough, cough In-N-Out. After doing some digging, I found that Filipino chain has made its way to the States and has some very good chicken. I have yet to have it, unlike the others on this list, but I’m sure it’s good. However, because it’s the only one in California, Slovis will have to sign with Jollibee.
So there you have it. Each Heisman contending QB should sign with a fast food chicken chain and the world will be better for it. The competition will be great and wouldn’t it be spectacular if, upon the announcement of the Heisman winner in New York, the victor takes a sandwich, bucket or basket and eats it live in front of the whole country? It would be amazing, and I hope this comes to fruition.
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