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I’m Way Cooler Than Kirk Cousins

Kirk Cousins
I’ve done a lot of soul searching this month but I have come to the conclusion that at minimum, I’m way cooler than Kirk Cousins and you can’t convince me otherwise. (Brace Hemmelgarn/USA TODAY Sports)

I’m Way Cooler Than Kirk Cousins

Kirk Cousins sucks… in quite literally every sense of the word. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching over the last month and I’ve come to the conclusion that if nothing else, I’m way cooler than Kirk Cousins. Way cooler. It’s not even a debate, honestly.

Cousins might be more rich and popular than me in the current moment in time, but there is no question I’m way cooler than him.

I’ve never done this in an NFL game:

Recently, I told my entire company of roughly 45 people to fuck off and leave me alone… and they listened…

Do you think Cousins could EVER command that level of respect? Hell no.

Adam Thielen hates him. Stefon Diggs hates him and forced his way out. Justin Jefferson will probably do so soon.

Cam Newton might suck but at least he’s cool. Johnny Manziel might be cool but he’s such a loser that in reality, he’s not really cool. Cousins is neither. He’s just there and happens to play in the NFL.

We have had a lot of people leave Vendetta. 99 percent of which aren’t deemed as talented. Some of the people here even probably hate me. However, they sure as hell respect me. You can’t buy that.

You think Dalvin Cook respects Cousins? C’mon. You think Dalvin thinks Cousins is with the kids? C’mon.

Emma Brown respects me and the world literally revolves her so you can’t top that.

Think about what I just did. I abandoned my own company for a month and gave them no timetable on when I would return. The company became self sufficient and survived on its own. Forget about Cousins… that’s like Aaron Rodgers level cool. I’m a way better leader than Cousins and that absolutely factors into the cool rankings.

I’ve won my important fantasy league three of the past four years and I can promise you Cousins wasn’t anywhere found on my teams. He’s not cool enough. In fact, winning a fantasy football league as challenging as mine is, is way cooler than anything Cousins has ever done.

You think Cousins can curl the 70 pound dumbells? No shot. I’m a blogger that has a net worth in his 20’s. Some would say that’s cooler than being a starting quarterback for an irrelevant franchise that has no shot to win anything with him under center. Especially when you consider that I’m more vital to the success of Vendetta than Cousins is to the success of the Vikings. The best Vikings season in recent memory came with Case Keenum leading the charge. Ouch.

You think Cousins is willing to get down and dirty in the mud like I am? C’mon.

Don’t get it twisted. Cousins got me on some things. He’s taller than me and can probably throw a better football. But I’m WAY cooler than him. Way cooler. I’m not even sure how you officially define cool but I absolutely have him beat.

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