I Demand Gavin Licks My Head Immediately
Get that tongue out you Irish fuck! I demand that my head regardless of how much hair is on it be licked. Effective immediately. No room for discussion. Gavin must pay his debt.
Okay, fine. Let’s talk about it. I have to get it to 300 words anyway and make sure why everyone understands why this has to be done.
Gavin would do almost anything for Colorado to win the Stanley Cup. That drunk idiot was worried about getting taken down by St. Louis. If you told him before the playoffs you could guarantee him a Cup win if he just followed through on his word, he would take the deal.
That’s what happened today. That guy said “If that happened, I would lick Trey Daubert’s (me) bald head”. Well, it pretty much did. In fact, better. It’s the same goal differential and actually the better result. There isn’t a hockey fan out there that wouldn’t take the shut out instead. Pitching a shut out has a different level of pride. It would be like pitching a perfect game winning 7-0 instead of throwing a no-hitter where the one walked batter somehow scored and you won 8-1. It’s not a debate.
I’m a reasonable person. We live pretty far apart and nobody is rich here yet. I still have to wear my Lamar Jackson shirt for our recording and trust me I do not want to do that. But what’s fair is fair. We’re already scheduled to see each other since I spanked him in fantasy hockey.
What’s fair is fair. Let’s call it an extension of the deal. We’re already going to have a blast watching Vegas beat up Colorado in the Fall. The hungry dog always runs faster. I’ll pay for plenty of drinks after. You will barely remember anyway.
Do the right thing. Don’t pull a Bryan Tann. That’s what cowards do. All of us know you’re better than that.