I Have Proof I Could Be An NHL General Manager
Two years ago I didn’t watch hockey and couldn’t name more than 10 players in the league. I used to love the NHL as a kid but refound my love for it later in life. It was always the lockout… Anyway… I’ve always thought I could be a general manager for any professional sports team. NHL was a bit of a stretch obviously since I stopped watching it for a long period of time.
Nonsense. I could be an NHL general manager and now I have proof. On a recent episode of Spittin Chiclets, Kyle Okposo formerly of the Islanders told a story about former general manager Garth Snow. Okposo said the Islanders hired him because he was good at fantasy story. I swear I’m not lying and that this is a true story.
Unbelievable. This guy got hired because of fantasy hockey? No disrespect to Garth but can we arrange something where I can join his fantasy league? I’ll bury that guy. My eyeballs work and I know what I see. I basically went undefeated this year (minus the COVID week where my whole team didn’t play). I’m probably the best fantasy hockey guy out there. I was basically perfect all year with my evaluations on fantasy hockey players.
Where is my gm job? I don’t need front office experience. I’ll hire the right people to make sure the job gets done right. I’ll lap these clowns making decisions right now. Put me on the list for people to interview for general manager jobs. If Garth Snow gets the Islanders job for his fantasy skills, I want a statue built of me outside the stadium before I start. I know that’s extreme but c’mon. What are we doing here?
We have real NHL teams giving Erik Gudbranson $4 million AAV and you think I couldn’t do better? We have real NHL teams giving Nick Leddy the same contract. You think the Blues fail to land Matthew Tkachuk if I’m in charge? Stop it.
It can’t lose. Hire me and young Andrew and we will bring a championship to you. Maybe Gavin can have a job bringing me coffee if I’m feeling generous. I also don’t drink coffee. End of blog.