Eric Collins Is Trash, Stop Pretending He Is Any Good

Time To Upset Some Folks

I already know what you’re thinking: Garrett this is such a silly thing to get up in arms about. Let announcers have their fun and bring their own style to the game. Eric Collins is good for the game of basketball. Do you know what I have to say to that?

Cap.

I do not care what you have to say about the matter. The internet darling Eric Collins is ass at commentating. I fail to understand how y’all on social media can find this style of commentating entertaining when all you’re listening to is yelling. To my understanding, you could have any casual fan get in the booth who can yell and put together coherent sentences and they can get the same love as Collins. Right? Because that’s all it sounds like to me. Let me show y’all some examples.

The first clip I will reference is the first 6 seconds of the clip before it transitions. This isn’t even a part of the countdown and I am going to shit talk it. Running with his hair on fire? Do you mean driving to the basket-like anyone else does? Bridges with a windmill that any athletic forward can do? What is the big deal about it? I don’t get why places like BR or House of Highlights hypes up dunks that we see on a night-to-night basis.

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The next one is number 8. A simple alley-oop that this team should be able to do at any time. But the announcer calls it as if it has never been seen before and won’t be seen again. A professional announcer would call that maybe with a hint of excitement but not like this. Maybe it’s because the Hornets have been awful for years and they aren’t used to these kinds of highlights.

Let’s address number 6 and the ever-popular Hum Diddley Dee whatever the hell it is. Can someone explain to me what makes this so good? I get getting a little hype about a guy who is washed doing something decent for the first time this season, but what the hell does Hum Diddley Dee mean? Sounds like something my nephew would say and he’s a kid, not a grown-ass man saying it and going “yeah, this sounds good let’s keep doing this”.

Number 3 is the clip I mentioned above. Saying LaMelo has his hair on fire doesn’t make sense to me. Miles Bridges also makes dunks like that all the time. But Eric Collins treats it as if he has never seen one before in his life. Just doesn’t scream professionalism to me.

Number 2 is hilarious to me. That scream? Really? Also, that was the play of the night? Again, this shows that the poor Hornets and their fans haven’t had quality basketball in Charlotte in god knows how long. Let’s just scream near the top of our lungs every time we see athletic players make plays they should be able to make BECAUSE THEY ARE NBA PLAYERS.

Yes, number 1 is a poster. Yes, it was very impressive. But have we seen Bridges make dunks like that before? We sure have. Does it deserve whatever the hell Hum Diddley Dee means? Does it deserve seconds of yelling like a little kid on Christmas when he opens the toy he wants? Nope, it sure doesn’t.

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Am I the old guy who yells get off my lawn? Maybe. Does this mean that I don’t like to have fun with my games? That isn’t true at all. I like watching good basketball and listening to a good announce team. Both of which I won’t get by watching Charlotte Hornets games and listening to Eric Collins. Sorry about it, internet. Your darling sucks at his job and you can’t convince me otherwise.

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MERCH