Dear Carlos
My Dear Carlos, Barcelona need you more than ever before. Get your boots because you are better than every defender currently in that squad. Photo: AFP/Philippe Desmazes

Dear Carlos,

Mi Amigo. I’m aware you are 42 years old and retired but have you seen this Barcelona defense? I’m begging you to get your boots and get out there. You’d still be the best defender in the team even after nearly seven years off.

They should be better than this, I’m well aware, especially given who their current coach is but they just aren’t. Poor Marc-André ter Stegen must be wondering what sort of bad karma he’s currently paying for having to play behind this lot. Especially Jordi Alba.

You played, and won, with Alba and I have only one question… HOW? Did you see his defending on Sunday? He ducked out of the way of the ball for Athletic Club de Bilbao’s second goal. In the ninetieth minute nonetheless.

I get it. You have the greatest player of my generation in Lionel Messi to bail you out by scoring at will, but he’s in his 30’s now and beginning to slow down. He needs help and you could see his frustration as he got sent off in the final minutes of extra time. You don’t even need to score Alba, just do your job as a defender and DEFEND!

Look, I’m not a Barcelona fan. I enjoy watching them and in particular Messi play, so I can only imagine how hard it was for you to watch the Supercopa final. At 42 and going on seven years retired you could still outplay any of that back four. It’s a sad time to be a Barcelona fan.

So Carlos, if you’re reading this I implore you, rethink this whole retirement thing. Money isn’t an option for the club, just name your price. Anything is better than having to watch Jordi Alba trying to defend ever again.

Yours faithfully,

Gavin (and Barcelona fans everywhere)

SHOP

PATREON