Condoleezza Rice
The Cleveland Browns want to interview Condoleezza Rice to possibly become their next head coach (Bryan Bedder/Getty)

The Cleveland Browns have been bad for a very long time. They are the one constant joke for NFL fans league wide. Cleveland sits at 3-6-1 and just as you thought the Browns were ready to turn things around… they pull you right back in. Cleveland currently sits without a head coach but a candidate they have in mind will probably make you second guess whether this report is fake news.

According to Adam Schefter, the Browns have one head coaching candidate in mind:

“The Browns would like to interview former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice for their head-coaching job, a league source tells ESPN.

If the Browns follow through on it, Rice would become the first woman ever to interview for an NFL head-coaching job.”

I’ll be honest, my first response to this was, who? Is Rice an assistant on a coaching staff that I somehow wasn’t aware of? Nope. Ok, so what does she do? Apparently, her qualifications start with the fact that she is a lifelong Browns fan. That means she is already stupid. Any man or woman who roots for the Browns has something wrong with them.

Schefter continues his article by saying that Rice has been featured in ads by the Browns. Again, I’m not really sure this counts as a qualification to become a head coach so we will keep it moving. Her resume also includes time serving as a secretary of state under George W. Bush from 2005-2009. So let me get this straight, as a black woman, she is also foolish enough to be a Republican?

But wait? Where are the football qualifications? Hey don’t worry, there was this one time where Rice served as a member of the College Football committee!

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I don’t mean for this article to come off sexist at all but this is a joke. There’s no doubt I believe a woman could do this job. I bet Becky Hammon could outcoach Ty Lue any day of the week in the NBA. Ty Lue was a puppet, cmon. The problem is she has zero experience coaching. I still laugh at the fact that Anthony Lynn is a head coach after being promoted as a running back coach. Luckily, Philip Rivers is so good that it hasn’t mattered this year. At least Lynn has been in the game.

Only the Browns could hire a politician to become head coach overnight. Did I mention the fact that she is a Browns fan! Every Browns fan across the country is secretly thinking that it would be a real shame if John Dorsey choked one of those pieces of gum before this interview ever takes place.