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How Big Of A Moron Do You Have To Be To Order A Fat Burner Shake?

Fat Burner
How big of a moron do you have to be to order a fat burner shake? I have lost faith in humanity. People can’t be this stupid. (Shutterstock)

How Big Of A Moron Do You Have To Be To Order A Fat Burner Shake?

I hate people. I really do. As I mentioned before, outside of taking this company to the moon, I don’t think I’m focused on something more than I am showing up to Vegas looking as jacked as humanly possible. I’ve chronicled some of my gym stories before… but this one takes the cake.

Story time:

I have a gym membership now and I can say for certain, this is the nicest gym I’ve ever worked out in. I’m used to working out in dirty ass basements. This gym is so nice that it was a movie theater inside and offers a full shake bar for after your workout. I feel like a bougie boy working out in this place.

I’ve been getting a shake every single time I go to the gym. I’m trying to bulk up and really go full jacked alien mode when I show up to Vegas. It really didn’t process in my brain until now but every time I order a shake, the worker at the gym asks me which one I want to order. There are two options.

1: High Protein

2: Low Calorie

For whatever reason, it just didn’t register in my brain why in the world anyone would order a low calorie shake. Doesn’t make any fucking sense to me but whatever. I try to just do my thing and keep it moving.

Today I had just got done with my workout and was getting ready to order my shake. Except there were two skinny girls in front of me in line. Both of whom ordered the low-calorie shake. At that point, enough was enough… I HAD to know the ingredients in this shake.

Do you know those moments where you are so dumbfounded that you feel high and or drunk but know you haven’t consumed any substances? Your mind is so blown you feel drunk because there’s just no way humans can be that stupid? Welcome to Trey’s day.

Make sure you take a seat.

Are you sitting down?

Are you sure you’re sitting down?

The low-calorie shake has… wait for it… FAT BURNER in it.

I don’t even know where to start with this other than the fact of stating the obvious. If you order this shake you HAVE to be one of the biggest morons on the planet. I mean it doesn’t get dumber. It’s truly the only way to describe it.

First, let’s talk about the hypocrisy of this. You’re about to order a bulky shake and then decide to add fat burner to it. You are quite literally consuming two things that are the direct OPPOSITE of each other.

Think about how stupid you have to be to do that. Imagine making a salad and being like “you know what, I’m going to order McDonald’s chicken nuggets. Cut them up and add it to this homemade salad”. You can’t make it up if you tried. I swear I feel high. People cannot be this ignorant and stupid.

Second, what are you doing? Fat burners are so dangerous. I don’t want to go all science nerd mode so let me sum it up as short and sweet as possible. Fat burners fuck up your heart and can easily lead to heart attacks, strokes, or even kill you. When you are excising and eating right, your body is already doing that part. There is quite literally no benefit to taking fat burners. It causes more harm than good. The pros are zero. The cons are a never ending list.

It’s already tough enough watching some people work out. I saw a guy at the gym today do two sets of squats, two sets of shrugs, two sets of bench, and quite literally leave the gym and call it a day. Maybe the dumbest workout I’ve ever seen. It’s tough enough trying not to judge these idiots for their work out plans. When it comes to these brain dead dopes ordering fat burner shakes, I can’t keep my mouth shut.

I’m actually surprised the gym sells them. Fat burners do not need to be regulated by the Food and Drug Administration. The manufacturer can do whatever the hell they want with the product. Those things get taken off the shelves all the time cause they gave some idiot a seizure that thought it was a good idea to take them.

I swear I feel drunk. There is just no way humans are this stupid. I don’t have any more words. AND people wonder why I’m so angry all the time? This is why. Can’t make it up if I tried. End of blog.

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