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Dear, Red Sox. Mike Hazen Is Not Smarter Than Me

Mike Hazen

Mike Hazen
Dear, Red Sox. I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re out of your mind if you think Mike Hazen is smarter than me. (Credit: Patrick Breen/The Republic / USA TODAY NETWORK)

Dear, Red Sox. Mike Hazen Is Not Smarter Than Me

The rat-face loser Chaim Bloom is officially gone and the Red Sox need a new President of Baseball Operations. I’ve made it pretty clear that I want the job and stated so days before Bloom got fired (makes you wonder huh…). The rumor mill has been churning and some names have flourished on who could get the job next. Old friend and current Diamondbacks head honcho Mike Hazen is among those being mentioned.

Dear, Tom Werner, John Henry, and Sam Kennedy. Mike Hazen is not smarter than me and you’re out of your mind if you think otherwise. I don’t have anything else to say.

My resume speaks for itself. I’m the best talent evaluator on the planet and have 100 pieces of evidence proving why the Red Sox would be in better hands with me in charge. Zack Wheeler would be on the team and the Sox would actually have a legitimate starting pitcher. I should have the job based on that alone but have 100 other things I could link if I wanted to. That’s not including the other sports. My resume also includes being the best fantasy football and hockey analyst on the planet. My NFL Draft notes from a scouting perspective are the best the industry has to offer. Even other writers are saying that.

WTF has Hazen accomplished? Explain it to me. Other than having experience and being in the room, what makes him better than me? Since taking over Arizona in 2016, the D-Backs have made the playoffs once. It will be two if they sneak into a wildcard spot this year. He’s also finished last twice and has never won the NL West. I guarantee I can do better.

I’m not saying Hazen is terrible. He’s better than the last idiot that ran the D-Backs. Yes, I’m talking about Dave Stewart who decided it was a good idea to trade the first pick in the draft Dansby Swanson for Shelby Miller. However, let’s stop pretending that Hazen is a home run hire. He comes from the Cleveland tree and will never be anything more than a cyclical winner. Not a consistent one.

Hazen also botched arguably the biggest trade in franchise history. Paul Goldschmidt was Arizona. He got nothing for him. Not a single contributor. It was the poo poo platter of Luke Weaver, Carson Kelly, Andy Young. Do you understand how hard it is to lose a trade to John Mozeliak? I’m not sure he’s won a trade since and Mozeliak has run the Cardinals into the ground.

I’m still waiting. Explain to me what Hazen has accomplished. I gotta know. The Diamondbacks have stunk and he doesn’t even have a great farm system. Seven years on the job and the only notable thing he’s done is taking Corbin Carroll in the draft, which may or may not have been his call. Usually, the scouting directors run the draft.

What a joke. Don’t tell me I don’t deserve an interview if your search starts with Hazen. I’m way smarter than him and deserve an opportunity to interview. That’s all I’m asking for.

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