Honestly, last week’s WCW was me recognizing the game of a true savage. This week, Jessica Biel is Vendetta’s Woman Cush Wednesday for one reason, and one reason only. She is really, really, ridiculously good looking (be honest who peeped this Zoolander reference before I pointed it out? And yes I know she wasn’t in that movie)
She has been a bombshell since the 1990s. Biel could honestly be my first love. Five-year-old me had the biggest crush on her when she was on 7th Heaven.
Let us not forget the early 2000s Biel, either. She was stupid fine in the early 2000s. She had a young man ready to risk a case of the cooties the way she got out that pool in Summer Catch.
2007 Biel? OH BABY! This was peak Biel. Like, everybody has their peak but, comparing peak Biel to anyone else? That’s like comparing Mt. Everest to Blue Mountain. Not even close.
Think I’m lying? Peep I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.
FUCK ADAM SANDLER btw. He’s 41 and gets to hook up with a 24-year-old peak Biel? He can go fuck himself (good for him, but really fuck him).
Speaking of people who can go fuck themselves. Fuck you, Justin Timberlake. Who do you think you are marrying Jessica Biel? The only reason she chose you over me is that she doesn’t know who I am. I fucking hate Justin Timberlake.
But, I digress, Biel isn’t in her peak anymore but she’s still fine as hell. So because she has been super duper fine since 1998, Jessica Biel is a Vendetta WCW.
