Jordyn Woods
Jordyn Woods. (Leon Bennett/Getty Images)

Jordyn Woods is this week’s winner of the coveted Woman Crush Wednesday award. Why? Well, you could say it’s because she gives me woods (I know not my best work, but I couldn’t think of anything more intelligent to open with).

Actually, there are a couple reasons but, we’ll start with the obvious.

Bootyliciousness

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I mean, c’mon son, look at that booty. It looks like she folded a couple of pillows in half and hid them in her jeans. If you slapped one side of her ass, the ripple wouldn’t get to the other side until next week.

Now I’ve never considered myself a “boob” guy or an “ass” guy. For the most part, I generally enjoy a nice boob as much as I enjoy a nice ass. However, from here on out, for all in tents (Andrew, if you are reading this, I know it should be “intents,” but I’m trying to make a pitching a tent joke, also don’t remove what’s in the parenthesis) and purposes consider me a “Jordyn Wood’s ass” guy.

*Editors Note: Reluctantly leaving in Chad’s awkward attempt at humor*

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Stacking paper

Second, Jordyn gets credit for being a strong, confident woman willing to bet on herself.

Sure she’s famous for stealing the Kardashian Christmas, or whatever; who cares? And, yes, she is dating Karl Anthony Towns. Big deal.

The point is she doesn’t need to do anything to make money but she is.

Starting her own Only Fans page a pro move. She has something people are willing to pay for (nudes) and is smart enough to get the bag.

Now, I am not willing to create an Only Fans account, enter a 16 digit credit card number (including expiration date and CVV code), and subscribe for $20.00 per month. That doesn’t mean people won’t.

Considering how dudes react to chicks getting paid with Only Fans, I have to assume she is confident. Like, the way Twitter dudes hate chicks that get paid with Only Fans is baffling to me.

The fact she’s dating a guy worth $158,253,000 and is still chasing the bag, plus doing it in one of the most controversial ways she could, shows she’s a strong and confident female.

In Conclusion

What’s not to love? Jordyn Woods booty? Good. Only Fans? Good. Strong, confident females chasing the bag? Good. Agree or disagree with me? Get in my mentions on Twitter. But remember, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK JABRONI!! (Unless you agree with me, we can make fun of the losers that don’t).