Athletes Party With
Who are the top 5 pro athletes I want to party with? (K.C. Alfred/San Diego Union-Tribune/TNS)(K.C. Alfred / TNS)

Top 5 Pro Athletes I Want to Party With

If you’re like me you enjoy drinking the not so occasional cold one with the boys and getting completely belligerent. I’ve been known to many as the life of the party ad to others that drunk asshole that threw up all over themselves and ran away from campus safety after falling asleep on the president of the schools front lawn. That’s a story for another time, so for now here are Don Chach’s top 5 pro athletes I’d love to party with.

#5. Conor McGregor

McGregor is one of the most famous people in the entire world and he doesn’t give a fook about anything at times. The way I see this night playing out is simple. We stop at a pub for a pint of Guinness. Start chatting with some cute little Irish gals and ask them if they want to go on a private tour of the Proper Twelve distillery after hours. Of course, they say yes because it’s not every day you get to party with the Double Champ and the Don, but little do we know they’re boyfriends are both 6’3” roid heads. I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself, “Chach, how are you gonna get yourself out of this one?” Quite simple actually. THE DON DOES WHAT THE FOOK HE WANTS! A fight would ensue, chairs would be thrown, glasses would be smashed on peoples heads, and we’d both most likely end up in jail. An eventful night with the Notorious Conor McGregor.

#4. Alexander Ovechkin

If you lived under a rock during the Washington Capitals run to the 2018 Stanley Cup then I absolutely feel sorry for you. Their Russian captain went on a complete bender after the Caps won their first championship and it was amazing. He and teammate TJ Oshie swam in a fountains in Georgetown, he did a keg stand on the cup, he carried the cup through the MGM casino’s lobby to a GIANT PARTY, carried it around National’s Park, and was even seen partying on rough tops in DC. This Russian is one crazy son of a bitch and 100% will get you blacked out on potato vodka.

#3 Gronk

Obvious choice here at #3. Gronk is the real life manifestation of Thad Castle. I mean shit they even look a like. Gronk is probably not only the biggest party animal in sports at the moment, but most likely the whole world. I mean the dude rented a cruise liner for a nonstop party to the Bahamas. A party that was so crazy that they weren’t able to do it again. Dude is a complete savage. He played hard on the field every Sunday and partied even harder every Monday-Saturday. God bless you Rob Gronkowski. First ballot Hall of Fame party animal. Your stories will live on for generations to come.

#2 Iron Mike Tyson

This is a sleeper pick, to say the least, but I’ve watched The Hangover trilogy enough to know that if you’re partying with Mike Tyson one of two things are going to happen. You’re either going to have a fucking crazy adventure that you’ll never fully remember and end up becoming best friends with arguably the most dangerous man to ever step foot in a boxing ring. Or he’s going to punch in the face. Honestly, I’m not apposition to either. Be warned, Mike recently stated that he smokes over $40k dollars worth of pot a month so make sure you bring your eye drops.

Honorable Mentions: These pros are without a doubt some of the best to ever party, but just didn’t make it into my top 5. Wade Boggs, Ric Flair, Andre the Giant, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Dan Marino, Mickey Mantle.

#1 Johnny Manziel

I’m going to get some heat for this one but I really don’t care. Why’s that you might ask? Well as Johnny Football once said, “I can’t hear you. There’s too much fucking money in my hand.” I fucking loved Manziel when he played at Texas A&M. He was one of the most electric football players and partners the world has seen. Sadly his run had to come to an end as Manziel had a very short lived career in the pros. Also, some of his shenanigans weren’t seen as cheeky and fun. Alas, many thought them to be cruel and tragic. Which effectively makes them not shenanigans at all really…evil shenanigans. If you missed the obvious Super Troopers reference there please watch it now. Manziel is one of my favorite athletes in recent history and to throw down with him for a night would 100% mean I’d be in store for one of the wildest nights of my life. No doubt Don Chach would be thrown in jail after that night.

Let us know who your top 5 Pro Athletes you would want to Party With