Sean Allen Thinks The Oilers Should Trade For John Klingberg
John Klingberg is in the midst of having a terrible 2022/23 season and the Oilers have no interest in trading for the current Ducks defenseman. None of that matters to ESPN’s dead-brain fantasy hockey expert, Sean Allen! Once again Sean Allen decided to outdo himself because we know the truth. There’s just no possible way Allen watches the games because nothing he says makes any sense.
It’s a drunk child at a candy store that doesn’t know what to do with himself. That’s Sean Allen every time he writes a fantasy hockey blog for ESPN.
In Allen’s latest column, the dope himself makes the case that the Oilers should trade for John Klingberg:
“Sure, Chychrun and Erik Karlsson would be a fit here, too, but Klingberg is all the Oilers would need. No, not 2022-23 Klingberg, but the version that produced year after year for the Dallas Stars. I guess the question is whether Klingberg would be an upgrade over Tyson Barrie, but that’s not hard to believe in if you can look past this season. Imagine the Klingberg who could approach 2.0 fantasy points per game on a power play with Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl. The Oilers might not even have to worry that his defensive metrics have been tanking.”
He’s so dumb it’s unbelievable. You truly can’t make it up. What more can you say about this man other than the fact that he just has rocks for brains?
Before I begin, let’s just make sure this beautiful chart is in the front of our minds. Your eyes do not deceive you. Here’s a list of all the defensemen in the NHL. Then there’s John Klingberg all the way in the left corner sucking balls. That’s the guy Sean Allen thinks the Oilers should trade for though…
No, I’m not done either.
A: “Sure, Chychrun and Erik Karlsson would be a fit here, too” but Klingberg is all the Oilers would need”.
I’m not sure that’s true in Chycrun’s case. He’s maybe a slightly better version of what they already have with Darnell Nurse. It’s also already been reported that Edmonton is out on the Chycrun sweepstakes. At least do your homework first, Sean!
B: Allen, of course, later contradicts himself as to why Klingberg makes no sense for the Oilers. He’s a worse version of what they already have with Tyson Barrie. Erik Karlsson, however, is the steroid version of Barrie. Karlsson is third in the NHL in assists on a bad Sharks team. Someone who I advocated the Oilers should trade for months ago. Since that time, it’s been reported that the Oilers are trying to get a deal done for Karlsson, not Klingberg. Trey’s ahead of the curve. Allen is in the gutter eating his own ass of embarrassment.
C: 2.0 fantasy points per game is not a good number. I don’t have a single player on my 26 man team that’s averaging under 2.0 fantasy points per game. I’m also 15-2 because Allen doesn’t know how to rank his players but we’ve already been over that ad nauseam. What I’m trying to tell you is that Allen is getting his panties in a bunch on a player hypothetical with the baseline of not being good enough to make a playoff-caliber fantasy hockey team. Yes, you are reading that correctly.
Klingberg is averaging 1.8 points per game this year and has hurt fantasy managers that drafted him. Karlsson is averaging 3.7 points per game and has essentially been a league winner for those that drafted him (Yes, I drafted him). You tell me which one makes the difference on a team with Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl?
D: Sean Allen is telling Oilers’ fans to not worry about John Klingberg’s defensive metrics! They don’t matter! Jack Campbell has a .888 SV% on the year but don’t worry, Edmonton doesn’t need to worry about Klingberg’s defensive metrics!
Sean Allen is a danger to our society. Anybody that is this stupid shouldn’t be left unsupervised by himself let alone be allowed to write for ESPN.com. This man is a disgrace and it’s laughable I’m the only one talking about how shameful ESPN is for paying this man a singular penny. He sucks at fantasy hockey and I will keep owning him until they do the right thing and get rid of that bum. The best part is he keeps outdoing himself. Just when you think Sean Allen can’t get dumber… BOOM! John Klingberg to the Oilers! Just what they need!
What an absolute joke. End of blog. See you in a month when Allen will undoubtedly write another poo poo blog about the trade deadline that makes zero sense.
