Kliff Kingsbury Chose USC Because Of ‘The Beautiful Women In Southern California’

Kliff Kingsbury is going to open the 2019 college football season as the USC offensive coordinator. After getting fired as the head coach of Texas Tech, Kingsbury had a ton of options. In the least shocking news of all-time, Kingsbury did not sugarcoat his reason for deciding to pair up with Clay Helton and the USC Trojans.

“I think it will be a great change of pace for him and allow him to enjoy life a little bit and not be so consumed with football all the time. And that’s what I told him. I said via LA Times, ‘Hey, you need to go out and enjoy yourself, enjoy the beautiful weather and the beautiful scenery and the beautiful women in Southern California.’”

I can’t blame the guy. Who is going to knock him for enjoying his team on the beach? Plus in LA, I’m sure Kingsbury can play the ‘I’m Ryan Gosling’ card (He does kinda look like him). USC will now have to hire some to make sure that he’s not fooling around with the cheerleaders but outside of that, USC made a great hire.

My favorite part of the USC press release was stating the fact that Kingsbury is single:

If anyone is going to save Clay Helton’s job, it’s going to be Kingsbury. USC needs the air raid offense. Helton’s offense has looked stale. USC dominates recruiting out west and they stink. It’s unacceptable. Outside of Sam Darnold, Helton’s resume looks awful. His 2018 season of 5-7 in the Pac 12 is pathetic. Hey, maybe Kingsbury can help Helton get his swag back and gets him into a few USC sorietyparties.