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The Jeep Wave Sucks And I’m NOT Fucking Doing It

Story time.

So I recently acquired a Jeep. The story of how I acquired said Jeep is for another day. What’s important is the fact that I now have a Jeep. It’s by far the nicest vehicle I’ve ever driven. Previously I’ve driven an old Ford Taurus and a beat up little Chevy.

It had slipped my mind originally but I came to realize part of the responsiblity of owning a Jeep is to instantly become a jackass. The Jeep wave is in fact not an old wives tale. No sir it is not. The Jeep wave is very much real.

Picture this; you’re just driving down the road and every person that drives the same kind of vehicle randomly waves at you.

NOPE.

NOT DOING IT.

This is my official statement on the matter: The Jeep wave sucks and I’m not fucking doing it. Who came up with this asinine cult? I want no part of it. Let me enjoy my Jeep and stop waving at me. It’s weird, creepy, and I for one, will not stand for it.

Let’s think of it in a different way. Imagine you’re in a mall trying to do some shopping. Randomly every single person wearing the same color shirt as you starts waving at you. Nope. Not happening. Get me out of this hypothetical universe. Sounds like some creepy shit before the zombie apocalypse hits. No thank you.

Furthermore, I hate most people. I don’t want to be bothered. You know what they should be doing? Learning how to drive instead of having another asshole sit in the left lane doing 10 MPH under the speed limit.

Let’s come up with a new rule. Instead of the Jeep wave, if you pass anyone in the left lane you are obligated to chuck them the finger. I like this rule instead. Feels warranted and there is an actual reason behind it, unlike the bullshit Jeep cult that doesn’t but somehow does exist.