Jared Goff Sucks. He’s Also Very Soft Too

Do you know who stinks? Jared Goff. 19/38, 229 yards, and 1 interception in the Super Bowl. Add in a 13.4 QBR and 57.9 quarterback rating and Goff may have put together the worst Super Bowl performance from a quarterback ever. Jared Goff doesn’t just stink, he also might be the softest American Athlete in human history.

“What really stings for me, especially as a quarterback, is that our defense played so well — and I wasn’t able to deliver,” Goff said softly as we stood outside the cleaned out coaches’ lounge in the Rams’ locker room. “It was me. It was our offense. And we — well, I — couldn’t do my part.

“It wasn’t a game we needed 30 points to win. We needed two touchdowns, and I couldn’t get it done. That’s on me. I’m the guy who has to drive this offense.”

That’s right, Goff. You suck. Imagine needing just 14 points to win a Super Bowl and never coming close. Nick Foles put up 41 points against the Patriots. Pat Mahomes two weeks ago put up 33. Blake Bortles put up 20 in the AFC Title Game last year. Jared Goff needed a 53 yard field goal just to put up 3 points all day.

Jared Goff fucking sucks. I’m done arguing it. Check out the podcast! I’m going to show plays for the game to further prove my point.

Brandin Cooks becomes wide open. Goff throws to the wrong guy.

Patriots leave Josh Reynolds wide open. Goff completely misses him.

Here’s the infamous Jason McCourty play. Brandin Cooks was open by a country mile but Jared Goff has a noodle arm. So Sad.

Jared Goff fails to see the blitz. Nobody cover C.J. Anderson out of the backfield that he could have easily checked it down to.

Josh Reynolds wide open in the middle of the field. Goff never sees him.

Josh Reynolds wide open again. Goff throws it into double coverage anyway.

Here’s the interception Goff threw. You will notice that Reynolds is wide open.

Sean McVay shouldn’t be so hard on himself. He took a quarterback that sucks all the way to the Super Bowl. That’s really hard to do. Especially a quarterback who is a giant pussy along with the fact that he sucks. This wasn’t hard to see coming. Look at what happens when Goff doesn’t have the coaching advantage. I hope this shows that Goff was actually somehow worse than his performance indicated.

Belichick doubled Woods and left Gilmore on Cooks. The rest was up to Goff. Go beat them. He had no chance. Make Jared Goff beat you. Was never going to happen. Oh, yeah I never even mentioned the fact that Sean McVay babies him on every play call. Goof has zero play recognition.

Jared Goff doesn’t just suck. He isn’t just stupid. He’s also a giant bitch. I’ve never seen a quarterback who is a bigger pus than Goff is. There is no fight, no confidence, no alpha. The Patriots knew he had no cahones and they made him quit.

That’s exactly what he did. Anytime there was any sort of pass rush, Goff shit his pants. He can’t handle pressure. When you do pressure him, he does stupid shit, literally.

Further proof that he is a giant bitch. Goff leads the Charmin Ultra Soft club. Here’s a challenge for you. Find me a picture where Goff doesn’t look like someone stole his soul. Eli Manning makes Jared Goff look soft. That’s how bad it is.

If you haven’t listened to the podcast, I encourage you to do so. I just wanted to provide more proof that Jared Goff sucks. It’s not arguable. It’s not debatable. He’s a giant bitch too. I’m right about Jared Goff. He’s trash. Sean McVay deserves better.