Don’t Eat The Cheese: 2024 Fantasy Hockey Goalie Busts

Don’t Eat The Cheese: 2024 Fantasy Hockey Goalie Busts

Hi. I know why you’re here. Trey is undefeated at Fantasy Hockey and you want to win your league. Well, you have come to the right place. We’re starting out the 2024 Fantasy Hockey content with the Don’t Eat The Cheese Goalie Busts.

Let me first start out by saying this. Credit to Sean Allen for finally learning from *some* of his mistakes. You can’t hide the evidence and it would appear that Allen is fully aware of how badly we have been embarrassing him. Only ONE goalie is ranked inside the top 100 on ESPN, which is a drastic difference from years past. I wonder who started that trend…

Crown me king already you cowards…

Anywho, because Allen appears to have wised up after humiliating him for being terrible at his job, we have to change the rules on this one a bit. Goalies appear more properly ranked this season so we’re going to hand-pick only the goalies inside the top 250 who will tank your season. The list this year will be shorter than normal for all the reasons I’ve talked about earlier. To be honest; goalies are probably ranked too low now and that’s not something I ever thought I’d say.

*Link To ESPN’s 2024-25 Fantasy Hockey Rankings/Projections:

Linus Ullmark (Ottawa Senators) G6, 188th overall

I’m out. No thanks. I honestly feel bad for the guy. Going from Boston to Ottawa is going to be a harsh reality. Goalies are products of coaching and their blue line protection. Ullmark has significant downgrades on both sides going to Ottawa. It was a terrible trade for Boston and it’s a terrible fit in terms of fantasy hockey.

Joonas Korpisalo had an .890 SV% with the Senators last year. Ullmark is the better player but the point it that it doesn’t matter who is in net. This team is going to give up goals and they’re not going to win a ton of games either. Give me literally anyone else and it has everything to do with not wanting a goalie who plays for Ottawa.

Sergei Bobrovsky (Florida Panthers) G7, 195th overall

I think we forget that these guys are adrenaline junkies. Sergei Bobrovsky can go from terrible to elite in the blink of an eye. The Stanley Cup hangover is real. The Avs went through it. The Golden Knights went through it last year. This Florida team has played a ton of hockey and may not light the world on fire when it comes to the regular season. Also, this team underwent major changes on the blue line where their third pair is made up of buyouts from other teams.

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