Colin Cowherd Wants To Stick His Tongue Down Baker Mayfield’s Throat So Bad

Sorry, I’m a little behind on this one but I’ve been traveling. I was just in Baltimore and Wilmington. I’m a man that likes to travel. I want to see the world. Recently, Baker Mayfield was at an Indians game and chugged a beer while on the jumbotron. It was an awesome video. We knew within a matter of seconds that Colin Cowherd would have a take about Baker Mayfield that second, this happened. But… we will get to that.

For the record, I was critical of Baker coming into the 2018 NFL Draft. I don’t want to sound hypocritical because I’m always transparent. I was worried about him being a product of Lincoln Riley. The Bowl Game against Georgia didn’t ease those concerns with the number of gimmick plays being run. I didn’t love what I saw at the Senior Bowl. In fact, I think it’s fair to say he had a bad Senior Bowl. His height was a red flag. The lack of success from quarterbacks in the Big 12 (prior to Patrick Mahomes) was another. His age entering the NFL was another. I didn’t think his arm strength was elite. To take that guy with the number one pick was crazy. The police video wasn’t great. My reasoning had nothing to do with planting the flag at Ohio State, grabbing his nuts, or anything of that nature. That stuff I love and I hope he succeeds. It remains to be seen just how good Mayfield can become. Thus far he’s more talented than I thought he was. I think a lot of it has to do with his awesome personality which I should have taken more into consideration. There’s something about the guy that makes him a leader.

Then we have Colin Cowherd who takes it to another level. Cowherd recently talked about Baker’s beer chugging at the Indians game. Why this is a topic that needs to lead a 3 hour show is beyond me. Anyway, this is what he had to say:

Cowherd never talks about Mayfield’s on the field play. He likes to talk about this kind of stuff. You know, all the things that have nothing to do with football. It took way too long for this to hit me. I think Cowherd is obsessed with Baker Mayfield.

I recently made a video of Cowherd’s obsession with Ezekiel Elliott. You can watch that below.

I realized that Colin Cowherd is actually more obsessed with Baker Mayfield. Even in the Elliott clips, who Cowherd has been talking about for 3 weeks straight, he often mentions Baker. If Mayfield wanted a restraining order, on Cowherd, I feel like he would get the request granted pretty easily. That’s how much Cowherd stalks him.

Cowherd has said it all. Despite the fact that Baker already put him in a body bag when he went on his show, Cowherd still talks about him. In fact, since Mayfield has gone on his show, Cowherd talks about him more. In the recent video, it became very clear that Cowherd has a crush on Mayfield. Cowherd even mentions this made up fraternity. I bet he’s played it over and over in his head how he would party with Mayfield in college like some crazy psychopath.

A lot of people believe Colin Cowherd hates Baker Mayfield. The opposite is true. Cowherd wants to stick his tongue down Mayfield’s throat so bad. You can just tell by the glisten in Colin’s eyes. He’s turned on by the mustache. Cowherd wishes he was the beer can being chugged. He wants his lips all over that stache. The evidence is becoming so clear. There’s no other reason to get worked about this. The biggest reason he is mad is because Cowherd wanted to be that beer can so bad.

Colin Cowherd talks about Baker Mayfield all the time. This is a man who had made it clear that he hates noise. Yet, it becomes confusing when constantly talks about the quarterback with a brash and fun personality. It could only mean he has a big crush on him. It’s sort of like the 13 girl who does mean things to the guy she has a crush on. This is Cowherd’s way of getting Mayfield’s attention which has worked enough to get him on the couch.

Cowherd is also on record for claiming Odell Beckham didn’t want to play for Cleveland. It wasn’t his first choice. Cowherd makes this very clear on almost every rant about the Browns. This could only mean one thing. He doesn’t want Odell becoming close to Mayfield. That’s who Cowherd wants. Colin can get jealous at times.

This song and dance has been going on for a loooong time: There’s a lot more but here’s some recent examples:

I’m not 100 percent positive on this one but I think Cowherd likes the bad boys. He brings up the police video a lot. Some people are like this. They don’t want someone who just goes to bed at eight at night. Opposites attract. It’s very possible Cowherd likes the edgy ones. Getting in trouble is just part of the flair.

George Costanza said it best. “A woman who dislikes me this much only comes along once in a lifetime”. Cowherd didn’t choose this life. It chose him. Baker was one of the few guys that actually responded to Cowherd’s irrational opinions. That just made the hunt more challenging for Cowherd. Don’t worry, Mayfield will continue to lead Cowherd’s show on a 600th consecutive day. After watching Mayfield shotgun a beer, it only made Cowherd more hot and bothered. Colin Cowherd wants to stick his tongue down Baker Mayfield’s throat so bad.