Trey Daubert Should Not Be an NHL General Manager

Trey Daubert Should Not Be an NHL General Manager

Two Emma Brown articles in the same month?? That’s crazy. Two articles in the same day? Absurd. Remember what I used to crank out three of these shits a week? HAHA, good times. Good times. Anyways, let me explain to you why no one should hire Trey Daubert as their general manager in the NHL.

He is a Knights fan

Now, listen to me. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have this simply because he’s a Vegas fan. I’m saying this because the Vegas franchise has only been around for five years. And he hasn’t even been a fan for all five of those years. He has not been through enough trials and tribulations as a hockey fan to be in charge of a whole team. Sorry, buddy.

Are we really going to compare him to Garth Snow and the Islanders??

Do I really need to elaborate on this? I moved to Long Island for college on purpose. Snow was hired in 2006 directly after retiring from the league. It took him 10 years to even get the Islanders to the playoffs. I really would consider Snow a less-than-average NHL general manager.

We’re making this decision based on Fantasy Hockey?

This is a completely hypothetical situation but, please, flatter me, people. Are we really going to make a decision that can make or break the future of our entirely made-up hockey franchise based on some Pennsylvania dude’s fantasy hockey numbers? C’mon folks, what are we doing here?

Yeah, you have to be able to pick high-quality players based on statistics when you’re playing fantasy but where’s the adversity? Where’s the quick thinking? What happens when Trey drafts a guy from the minors onto his team, but that player has already signed a long-term contract overseas and can’t play in the NHL for six years? There are a million more of these hypothetical situations I can come up with, but my point is, you don’t get experience with those things through playing f***ing Fantasy Hockey.

I Have Proof I Could Be An NHL General Manager

It’s not that I don’t think Trey can be a general manager and a damn good one at that, I just think that if he’s going to make this argument, he needs to use real logic and thinking and not some stupid dress-up hockey that he’s played for two whole seasons. Well, Emma, aren’t you worried he’s going to be pissed that you wrote this? Reader, thank you for your concern but just yesterday he said,

“Last time I checked, you make the rules. This is Emma Brown’s world and we’re all just innocent bystanders”

Trey Daubert, CEO of Vendetta Sports Media. My boss.

So, no. Consequences are the least of my problems. I need to go change my major because apparently, a sports management degree is not how you become a general manager.

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