Accurate Comps For The NFL Network Scouting Combine Broadcast

Accurate Comps For The NFL Network Scouting Combine Broadcast

I don’t know how many more times I need to say this and I can’t believe more people aren’t vocal about it but the NFL Network broadcast for the Scouting Combine absolutely sucks. I have a lot of complaints about the broadcast but complaint number 732 might be the fact that they make these ridiculous player comps that are basically never right. I figured I’d take it one step further because at some point, someone needs to actually evaluate the idiots in charge of airing this event.

Here are my accurate comps for the broadcast team itself. Feel free to comment because I dare you to come up with a better one. In fact, feel free to explain to me why a singular person respects anyone on this broadcast because I truly don’t get it.

Rich Eisen: Wanna be failed stand-up comic who isn’t funny

I’d like to enter my evidence into the courtroom. Rich Eisen just sucks. Everything about him sucks. Let’s be real about his broadcasting style. He tries to turn the event into stand up comedy but he’s not actually funny.

Dude… nobody cares if a divorce lawyer was in your wife’s wedding party and it isn’t remotely funny. It’s that style of broadcasting over and over again. He says something incredibly stupid while trying to be funny and it fails over and over and over again.

Beyond the fact that he’s not funny, the guy’s ego is out of control. Nobody wants to watch this pathetic human who isn’t in shape run the 40 while telling you to donate to a children’s hospital where he’s probably pocketing the earnings. Guy is a scumbag on every level and I can’t believe anybody employs him.

Daniel Jeremiah: Deven Marrero

I know DJ is a Padres fan so I decided to use a baseball analogy for this.

I’m a Red Sox fan and Deven Marrero is a player I absolutely despite and I’m quite sure even if you watch baseball you never heard of him.

Let me explain.

The Red Sox picked Marrero 24th overall in the 2012 MLB Draft. He got all this hype because it’s the same school they got Dustin Pedroia from and both were regarded as gritty infielders coming up through the system.

The kept getting hype but in reality he sucked the whole time. He was good at nothing other than vibes. He would always sneak his way into pictures with Xander Bogaerts and Mookie Betts while never having a prayer at being a big league stud.

Nobody understands how the Red Sox kept him around for so long. He lasted on their big league team for three years and had an OPS+ of 49. Guy couldn’t play a lick but he had a nice smile and had a shiny draft pick next to his name.

Someone he played worse for Arizona, Miami, and the Mets. Teams kept giving this guy chances despite the fact that he sucked. Yet he always just found a way to be there despite not being good at anything. I’m sure he was a nice guy.

Nobody knows how this guy keeps getting jobs but guess what happened? NESN (the media site that has the TV rights to the Red Sox) hired Marrero as a studio analyst. Guy was basically the equivalent of a NFL practice squad player that sucked and never saw real playing time but he has a sports media job now making good money.

Are you telling me the Red Sox couldn’t find a different former player who actually had real production with the team who would be more entertaining? Of course, but Marrero has the politics on his side.

Nobody knows how this happens and he doesn’t have a lick of talent but I’m sure he’s a nice guy.

That’s Daniel Jeremiah.

His combine performance looks the same every year. He has about 10 words for you if you’re lucky on that player right before that guy runs the 40. He says nothing meaningful about any of the players anytime after and doesn’t have a single clue what a good rep looks like when the on-field portion starts. Paid actor who is there to not ruffle any feathers. I’m sure he’s a nice guy though.

Charles Davis: Hitler’s parrot from Season 21, episode 16 of Family Guy

95% of what I watch is sports but I won’t lie to you, my favorite and only cartoon I watch is Family Guy. I just think this episode perfectly describes Charles Davis.

Next time you watch this event, I have a challenge for you. Anytime they kick it over to Charles Davis for something to say, rewind the footage and decide how many words he stole for Jeremiah the segment before. He’s a ChatGPT machine that does nothing be regurgitate what Jeremiah said right before it was his turn to speak.

Guy is a broken parrot who brings nothing to the table.

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