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Ben Simmons Hits A 3 Pointer, I Need New Shorts

Last Modified: February 19, 2024

It happened. IT FINA-FUCKING-LLY HAPPENED. Ben Simmons for the first time in his NBA career knocks down a 3 pointer. Of course, it was in an exhibition game and in no way will count (Talladega Nights reference coming in hot) but it’s kind of like seeing a unicorn for the first time. GLORIOUS.

Off the bounce with a little pressure from the Chinese dude. Quite the way to pop his cherry. Benny boy hits him with Jesus Shuttlesworth J.

Basketball is like poetry in motion, cross the guy to the left, take him back to the right, he’s fallin’ back, then just J right in his face.

– Jesus Shuttlesworth (Ray Allen) He Got Game. 1998

This might be the sexiest non-sexual thing that I’ve ever seen. Seriously I’m a little sticky over here.

Ben Simmons Jumper
Screen grab of a conversation we had in our writers group chat about the NBA

The three came against the Guangzhou Loong Lions of the Chinese Basketball Association, so not exactly world beaters but, this is huge for the Sixers.

Ben Simmons is 0 for 18 in his NBA career from beyond the arc. He’s defined one-trick pony. If he can hit this J against a big boy team the Sixers are serious contenders for the chip.

I’ve been saying that all Simmons needs is a jumper. If he can start hitting open 3’s goodbye are the days when teams camp in the paint to stop his offense.

Top level defense and an evolved Benny? This is me right now:

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