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Things Michael Bloomberg Should Have Used His $550 Million On

Trey Daubert / MLB / March 5, 2020

Michael Bloomberg dropped out of the presidential race after he spent $550 million on his campaign. He didn’t just drop $550 million on his campaign. He dropped that money and never won a single state during the Democratic Primary outside of American Samoa. He also made an ass out of himself during the debates. $550 million to Michael Bloomberg is like $5 bucks to me but still. Think of the things he could have spent that money on instead?

A Marketing Team

We have to start here, right. This guy spent $550 million and didn’t think he would be asked about non-disclosure deals he signed? Is he dumb or just lazy? Why not hire a debate coach? A real marketing team that would have made a difference in the campaign. Unbelievable.

The Mets

If Bloomberg wanted to flush $550 million down the tubes, why not buy the Mets? If Bloomberg wanted to spent that kind of money to be disappointed in the end, the Mets are a great place to start. The Steve Cohen deal fell through. $550 million would have been a nice down payment on the Mets. Imagine the hero Bloomberg would be if he bought the Mets and turned them into winners. Imagine the hero he would be if he blew right past the luxury tax and built a super team in New York.

Donate It

Michael Bloomberg was a politician in New York City for a long time. Imagine if he would have taken that money and just donated it to the citizens of NYC. Around 8-8.5 million people live in New York City. Send every person a check for $68.75. You could make the dollar amount much higher by sending it to college students with debt. Could have done a really nice deed. Instead, he flushed it down the toilet.

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Those are my top 3 ideas. I just can’t fathom flushing that kind of money down the toilet to then not win a single state. I’m sure he’s sleeping fine at night. Now he will spend his time trying to beat Donald Trump. His plan is to now endorse Joe Biden who has a zero percent chance to beat Trump in an election. Only Bernie Sanders does but that’s a story for another day. Send us your ideas for how you would spend $550 million!