Under Maintenance

We deeply apologize for interrupting your reading but Vendetta is currently undergoing some important maintenance! You may experience some layout shifts, slow loading times and dififculties in navigating.

Sports Media

NFL Teams Have “Hard Nipples” For Allen Lazard

Allen Lazard
NFL teams have “hard nipples” for Allen Lazard. I repeat… HARD NIPPLES! What’s going on with Lazard? (Harry How/Getty Images)

NFL Teams Have “Hard Nipples” For Allen Lazard

Teams are getting hot and bothered for Allen Lazard already and NFL free agency hasn’t even begun yet. Hard nipples and everything?

Yeah, I guess that’s where we’re at with a mediocre wide receiver about to hit the open market. Every team is desprate to add more weapons. Even if it means Indian burns on your nipples to sign Allen Lazard.

Matthew Berry put out a really good column about things that he was hearing at the 2023 NFL Scouting Combine. It’s safe to say Lazard is going to get paid!

“My nipples are hard…for Allen Lazard.”

“My source goes on to explain that that was a phrase he heard about Lazard, one of the top free agent wide receivers this year in a fairly thin class. I heard both the Ravens and Chiefs really like Lazard and my sense is that Lazard returning to Green Bay is not out of the question, but an unlikely outcome.”

It’s not really surprising to hear NFL teams are going to have strong interest in Lazard. It’s a really weak wide receiver market this offseason. It’s Jakobi Meyers, JuJu Smith-Schuster, and a whole lot of nothing. Teams are happy to overpay for a guy that would be nothing without Aaron Rodgers.

You had to wait a while but Lazard did prove fantasy relevant last year.

Okay, Lazard isn’t terrible but I’m not sure he’s as good as his numbers indicate. The numbers of being a number one wide receiver in Green Bay with Aaron Rodgers receiving very little competition for targets outside of a couple of rookies. In 2022-23 Lazard posted 60 catches for 788 yards and six touchdowns.

Green Bay will likely do what they have always done. Let them hit the market and sign elsewhere for more dollars than they deserve and will collect a comp pick for his services this time next year. You can write that one in the stars now.

Side note: Can you imagine if the Ravens go all in on Lazard? I really might turn in my fan card right there.

Popular Past Stories

recommended stories

Brock Purdy Puka Nacua

Puka Nacua is skeptical of 49ers window if Brock Purdy’s extension is $50 million per year

Puka Nacua is skeptical of 49ers’ window if they extend Brock Purdy The San Francisco 49ers hit the reset button…

Read More
Rockets Warriors

2024-25 Western Conference First-Round Preview: No. 7 Golden State Warriors v. No. 2 Houston Rockets

2024-25 Western Conference First-Round Preview: No. 7 Golden State Warriors v. No. 2 Houston Rockets The 2024-25 NBA postseason is…

Read More
Jabbar Muhammad

Jabbar Muhammad 2025 NFL Draft Profile

Jabbar Muhammad 2025 NFL Draft Profile We’re getting deep into the cornerback class with the 2025 NFL Draft profile series.…

Read More
Heat Cavaliers

2024-25 Eastern Conference First-Round Preview: No. 8 Miami Heat v. No. 1 Cleveland Cavaliers

2024-25 Eastern Conference First-Round Preview: No. 8 Miami Heat v. No. 1 Cleveland Cavaliers The 2024-25 NBA playoffs are officially!…

Read More