Danny Parkins Totally Wants To Give Colin Cowherd A Blowie

Danny Parkins Totally Wants To Give Colin Cowherd A Blowie

It’s baseball season… which means douchebag Colin Cowherd has nothing to talk about. Well, Fox holds TV rights for the All-Star game, which means Cowturd was required to talk about it. It went as poorly as you would expect. Derek Jeter put him in his back pocket and we got another classic soundbite further proving Cowturd is one of the biggest idiots on TV. Everybody who has an ounce of pride and respect already understands that. Danny Parkins is not one of those people. Instead, he wants to take Colin out back and blow him.

Cowherd took some time off last week because it’s baseball season and the guy probably wanted to prevent further looking like the clueless dope he is. Who knows what dumb ass take he would have come up with baseball-wise. Maybe another take about how Mariano Rivera dominated with a splitter (insert obvious joke here).

Ahhh yes, who could ever forget Mariano Rivera's one pitch…. THE SPLITTER! 😂 pic.twitter.com/WWyS3fKGAe

— Funhouse (@BackAftaThis) January 6, 2023

Again… nobody that actually knows sports respects Cowturd. The guy makes a fool out of himself every single day on that show. If you actually work for that tool, you have zero self-respect for yourself. There really isn’t any other way to put it.

Credit where credit is due though. Credit to Cowherd for finding the one dope that would actually make him look good during his absence. Parkins did a piss poor job and somehow made Cowherd better than he actually is. I assume this was all part of the script for future leverage at Fox.

Let me give you two quick examples:

"This is the most talented Team USA roster we've ever had. It is top to bottom more talented than the Dream Team."

— @DannyParkins explains pic.twitter.com/QBlb7nsmUO

— Herd w/Colin Cowherd (@TheHerd) July 8, 2024

No, dude. Just not a shot. Half this team is past their prime. Kawhi already got sent home for being a bum. Durant isn’t playing because he’s hurt. LeBron is 40. Just stop.

"What would the precedent be for a team to move on from QB like that? It simply doesn't exist."

— @DannyParkins on why Dak Prescott will remain a Dallas Cowboy pic.twitter.com/GBAYneoEMK

— Herd w/Colin Cowherd (@TheHerd) July 8, 2024

What’s the precedent? It literally just happened with Kirk Cousins, who left for Atlanta. If the guy had any foresight, he would know it’s going to happen more and more with teams refusal to pay the outlandish QB market for players who fall short of the elite threshold. To suggest there is no precedent for it is factually incorrect regardless of if Dak re-signs or not. Shouldn’t be that hard to understand unless you’re this dope.

Did Colin Cowherd Disrespect The American Education System?

After a rocky stint hosting The Herd, Parkins had one more cherry on top. He made sure to let D Bag Cowherd know that he has the hardest job in sports.

.@DannyParkins joins @ColinCowherd and discusses filling in on @TheHerd…

"I do think you have the hardest job in sports opinion." pic.twitter.com/7r86dw9YUx

— The Volume (@TheVolumeSports) July 15, 2024

“I do think that you have the hardest job in sports opinion,” Parkins told Cowherd. “First Take is a debate show. There has to be someone to debate. Get Up is a panel show. Undisputed is a debate show. First Things First is a chemistry show, PTI is a chemistry show. You’re a monologue and take show … three hours of solo TV and radio is no joke.”

We do get how embarrassing this is, right? Take the finger out of your ass, Danny.

A: How can Cowherd have the hardest job in sports if he has no consequences for his actions? Explain that one to me. He had the most ignorant comments ever about Dwayne Haskins and faced zero punishment for them. He’s also wrong constantly, changes his mind with zero accountability, and still cashes checks. How hard can it be?

B: The proof for why his job is hard is because First Take is a debate show? WTF is that? Just because you sucked at it doesn’t make it hard.

Hey, Danny. Blow the guy a little harder. Maybe try tickling his balls next time. He might like that. Might want to stock up on some Kleenex, he missed a spot on his face.

The only thing you can do is laugh. This man is so desperate to make a name for himself he literally ripped his pants off and offered to give the old hag a blowie out back.

Zero pride.

Zero self-respect.

That ^ is Danny Parkins. End of blog.

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