Tom Brady Is Unretiring, He’s Back
You thought you could get rid of Brady that easily? Oh no no no, you were severely mistaken. Tom Brady has announced himself that he will be returning to the NFL and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
I wish I could say I’m surprised, but I’m not. Earlier I said that there was no way that Tom Brady would let the last image of himself be him bleeding by his lip and losing to the Los Angeles Rams. Brady is simply too much of a competitor, this fire inside him burns too brightly for him to just leave it behind him. He has said numerous times that he will retire once he sucks, and he is far from sucking. The cliff is a myth, Brady is inevitable. You cannot run from him, he will be back, and he will make you suffer until he is satisfied with his career. I could make all the jokes about how a month with the wife and kids made him think getting drilled by 300 pound men is better, but I won’t. If you’re good at something, I say keep doing it until the wheels fall off and the wheels are still spinning fine on Brady.
This reminds me all too well of that scene from Wolf of Wall Street. “I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving. I’M NOT FUCKING LEAVING.” That’s Brady. That is the inside of his mind. That is in his heart, he will not leave the field until he cannot play any longer.
He is back, he is inevitable, YOU SIMPLY CAN NOT GET HIM TO GO AWAY. You can’t kill him, you can’t stop him, the self proclaimed “Baddest motherfucker on the planet,” is going out on his own terms and there is NOTHING you can do about it.
