Eagles
(Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports)

“What the Hell Howie?” Chach Reacts to Eagles’ 1st Round Draft Pick

What I witnessed last night at the NFL Draft has rocked me to my core. I am not okay right now people. Not only did I chug 5 beers in a row, but I was assaulted. In my drunken state, Philadelphia Eagles’ GM Howie Roseman took advantage of my innocence, whispered in my ear, “don’t worry sweety Daddy’s got you” and bent me over the table. Something that he has done to the fans of Philadelphia time and time again in the NFL Draft. If you have no idea what I’m talking about then you obviously missed the Eagles sending shock waves throughout the NFL by selecting TCU receiver Jalen Reagor with the 21st overall pick. The birds refused to trade up for one of the top 3 receivers in Jerry Jeudy, Henry Ruggs III, and CeeDee Lamb. Lamb fell and was selected by division rival and perennial pieces of shit Dallas Cowboys with the 17th overall pick. The Eagles also passed on LSU receiver Justin Jefferson who put up phenomenal numbers this past season. Honestly, I have no idea what to do now people. I’m tired of being in this abusive relationship.

The thing that I am most upset about is that we just spent the last 5 years with an underperforming first round receiver in Nelson Agholor who couldn’t catch the Corona Virus if he licked a hospital toilet seat. So, what do we do in the draft? Go out and get a speedy receiver that has a problem consistently catching the football and has been compared to non-other than Nelson Agholor. It just does not make sense to me at all. Our Super Bowl window is closing more and more every season and instead of addressing the immediate need at linebacker by selecting Kenneth Murray, they make the questionable decision to take a receiver they could have traded down for. The word that you are looking for is moronic.

In the second round, I am hoping for several things. I want KJ Hamler, I want Zach Baun or Antoine Winfield Jr, and I would like to trade Rasul Douglas A$AP. That’s all that I am asking for right now people. Let’s keep bolstering that receiving core and strengthening our secondary. Go Birds baby. Cheesesteaks on me when all this Covid shits over. Don Chach out!

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