Top 5 Russell Westbrook Trade Packages The Lakers Should Consider
Russell Westbrook sucks. It just took the rest of you about ten years too late to figure that part out. The Lakers are stuck with the biggest cancer the NBA has to offer and it’s a mess they put themselves in. The good news is, if we have learned anything from recent NBA history, nobody is untradable.
The Lakers are going to try like hell to trade Westbrook even though nobody with an IQ higher than a dead squirrel on the side of the road wants him. Let’s take a look at some realistic trade packages Los Angeles should consider.
*All of these trades include the Lakers paying Westbrook’s 2022-23 salary of $47 million. What’s fair is fair.
*The order of these trades is irrelevant. They’re all deals the Lakers must entertain to rid themselves of the cancerous Westbrook.
5. North Carolina A&T
A&T receives Russell Westbrook
Lakers receive JR Smith
Now, this is a trade that gets butts in seats. Westbrook sure as shit isn’t good at basketball so maybe we have him try out for the North Carolina A&T golf team. Westbrook might even have a positive impact on a team for once. He’s expected to be the team’s caddy for the season, of course.
The Lakers need more shooting and everybody knows that even a high JR can hit more shots than Westbrook. This is an experiment the Lakers should green light. JR can hit shots. Westbrook cannot. The Lakers should probably take this deal now before A&T realizes they’re being ripped off.
4. Melbourne United
United receive Russell Westbrook, 2027 first, 2029 first, and the rights to any child produced by LeBron James.
Lakers receive Mathew Dellavedova
Matthew Dellavedova is already a better basketball player than Westbrook so it’s only fair if Melbourne gets the Lakers first round picks in 2027 and 2029. Those players when drafted are expected to report to Australia immediately as a reminder that LeBron thought it was a good idea to trade for Westbrook, in the first place.
I’m just not sure that’s enough. Delly is shooting 37% from 3 in the NBL so the Lakers will probably have to lump in some additional compensation. It seems only fair that any child that LeBron James produced genetically, Melbourne United also gets their basketball rights. If Bronny James wants a future in basketball, start packing his bags for Australia now. It’s the right thing for the kid anyway.
What’s it going to be LeBron? How bad do you want off the Westbrook island? Enough to send your kids to Australia? Seems tempting. Especially when Bronny looks like a shaky second round pick at best.
3. Xinjiang Flying Tigers
Flying Tigers receive Russell Westbrook
Lakers receive one iPad and one fake Flying Tiger tattoo pack
Westbrook seems destined to play in China. He’s certainly not good enough to play in the NBA anymore. The Flying Tigers are one of the best teams in China but they don’t want to gamble with the team chemistry too much. Taking on Westbrook is a lot. They’re willing to hand over one team iPad and a pack of those fake tattoos. Final offer, take it or leave it.
Flemengo receive Russell Westbrook
Lakers receive Vitor Faverani & 3 pounds of raw sugar cane
The Lakers are making out like bandits in this one. They get access to some of the finest sugar produced in Brazil and send over Vitor Faverani who actually played in the NBA. I’m not sure the Lakers can do better.
1. Shanghai Sharks
Sharks receive Russell Westbrook
Lakers receive Jamaal Franklin & Two Washing Machines
If the Lakers can’t work out a deal with the Flying Tigers, maybe the Shanghai Sharks will take him. The Sharks are willing to send over two washing machines. The dryers are off limits. However, Jamaal Franklin being in this trade is something to take note of.
Franklin was a former 2nd round pick in 2013 and is tearing it up overseas. The Sharks are only willing to do this deal because Westbrook might be able to sell more tickets. They’re losing on the talent end of this. I’m not sure what the Lakers are waiting for. The two washing machines alone is great value.