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(Mark J. Terrill/Associated Press)

Ranking The Top 5 NBA Players That Would Catch Coronavirus

Ranking the top 5 players in the NBA most likely to catch the coronavirus. (Mark J. Terrill/Associated Press)

How serious is the coronavirus? I don’t have a damn clue. Jurgen Klopp said it best.

Let’s have some fun with it. It’s called comedy, people. Which 5 NBA players are the most likely to catch the coronavirus?

Honorable mention:

James Harden – Have you seen his beard? Who the hell knows what’s crawling around in there. Have you seen the chart? Harden’s in trouble!

Karl Anthony-Towns – Have you seen him play defense? No further comment needed.

5: Bradley Beal

This man is miserable. Beal is the perfect storm to get hit with the sickness. Stress, anger, miserable, and overworked. Beal shows up to the arena every night knowing he has to drop 40 to have any chance to win. On the rare chance he actually does it, the Wizards still lose. Beal is playing close to 36 minutes a night and averaging close to 23 shots per game. The man is overworked. It has to take a toll on his immune system. Somebody needs to keep a close eye on Beal. He might already have the virus.

4: Knicks

If there is one team in the NBA that is cursed, it’s the New York Knicks. Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, and Zion Williamson turned into Julius Randle, Bobby Portis, and RJ Barrett. Things are so bad that the most loyal fan in the entire city (Spike Lee) is done with the Knicks. The story has basically written itself. What a way to cap off a nightmare season then to have the entire team catch the coronavirus. To make matters worse, James Dolan would find a way to avoid it. You can’t write it any better.

3: Kyrie Irving

Kyrie has turned into that guy where I would believe almost anything you said about him. Kyrie has a pet turtle. Definitely would believe it. Kyrie speaks 10 languages. Yeah, I’m sure he does. Kyrie has a morning shift as an elementary school bus driver in Brooklyn. Wouldn’t bat an eye. Kyrie has the coronavirus? Rolls right off the tongue.

2: Joel Embiid

Joel Embiid can’t run down the court without you thinking that he might be sick. Embiid has been sick more than any player in recent memory.

1: Anthony Davis

I have a better chance of being struck by lightning than Anthony Davis does of playing 76 games in a season. Neither has happened so far and I don’t love my odds. I’m probably due to get struck. Davis misses games like it’s his job. You name it, Davis has had it. Pinky, shoulder, knee, elbow, ear, toe nail. Anthony Davis is the human version of the operation board. Adding the virus to the list wouldn’t be surprising.


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