Sexual Enhancement Pills
It turns out that the balls were being juiced. MLB released a memo to players that they can be suspended for PED’s taking over the counter sexual enhancement pills (Jason Getz/USA TODAY Sports)

MLB Pitchers have been complaining all year about how the ball is juiced. Well, now we know they weren’t wrong. Balls are literally being juiced. MLB sent out a memo today to warn players that taking sexual enhancement pills could result in a positive PED test result. More specifically, gas station or over the counter sexual enhancement pills. I’ll tell you what, I didn’t think today could get much crazier but it somehow did.

Jeff Passan of ESPN had the following:

“Major League Baseball in a memo warned about the “very real risk” of over-the-counter sexual-enhancement pills after at least two players this year were suspended for performance-enhancing drugs and said the banned substances found in their urine came from the unregulated products, sources familiar with the situation told ESPN.

The use of over-the-counter pills, which are often purchased at gas stations, is prevalent among baseball players, according to multiple sources. It prompted the league to send out a memo on Monday that outlines the risk of consuming non-NSF-certified supplements.

The memo, obtained by ESPN, warns that “these products are often contaminated with prohibited and unsafe ingredients” and that players are subject to discipline even if they inadvertently ingested a banned substance.”

“Sexual or male enhancement products present a very real risk for drug-tested players,” the memo said, “and the high likelihood for contamination or unidentified ingredients in these products underscores the importance of consuming only those products that are NSF Certified for Sport.”

In the memo, which was sent to major and minor league players and re-distributed by the MLB Players Association to ensure its members received it, MLB suggested that players who “suffer from erectile dysfunction or other legitimate issues related to sexual performance … speak to a licensed physician about the various prescription medications (e.g., Viagra, Cialis, Levitra) available to treat those conditions.”

This is crazy. I have to be honest, I didn’t even know you could find sexual enhancement pills over the counter. I figured the doctor just took care of that and that was the only way. This is not a problem I deal with but I can see how having a broken dick could be problematic. Could you imagine if you’re one of the players that got suspended for this and the test result comes up as a positive PED test? One player off the top of my head that was recently suspended is Frankie Montas of the A’s. Let’s hope he actually took steroids.

I’m being serious. I would much rather have gotten caught for steroids tha over the counter sexual enhancement pills. I truly can’t wrap my head around this. The only thing I know now is that the balls are definitely being juiced.