Gritty Requests Trade Away From Flyers

Gritty Requests Trade Away From Flyers

Gritty has one message for the new Flyers head coach, John Tortorella. Screw Torts, I’m out. Gritty, young Andrew, and the rest of Flyers nation has been through enough. Don’t give them the hockey version of Grampa Simpson too!

I’m sorry but anybody that has the audacity to criticize McJesus to the point where they believe he can’t succeed in the postseason is so stupid I don’t have words to properly describe it. Then again, why should any of this be surprising? The Flyers probably watched that video and immediately knew he was their guy. That’s what bad teams do. Hire dopes.

The best mascot in the NHL deserves better. He’s requested a trade away from the city of Philadelphia in general. The Flyers are a mess, the Eagles have one weird Super Bowl run to go with years of irrelevance, and the Phillies love being mediocre. The word on the street is Gritty has had enough and wants out.

I’m not sure it can even be salvaged. Gritty saw the McDavid video and already is recovering from an ongoing stroke. He read Andrew’s article stating “medium reward, high risk” and almost dropped dead. As if signing Rasmus Ristolainen to an extension wasn’t egregious enough. Philadelphia doubled down on stupid and hired Torts.

Gritty deserves better and is threatening to retire if he’s not traded immediately. When it comes to the Flyers mascot, even the most loyal Flyers fans would understand if he didn’t stick around for the Torts era.

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