Gardner Minshew
Gardner Minshew is refusing to poop because being number two isn’t an option. Minshew REALLY wants to win the Jaguars starting quarterback job. (Douglas DeFelice-USA TODAY Sports)

Gardner Minshew Is Refusing To Poop Because Being Number Two Isn’t An Option

Gardner Minshew is a weird dude. He’s the real life version of Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. Trevor Lawrence might have been taken with the first pick in the 2021 NFL Draft, but Minshew can throw a football over them mountains so tomato, tomato.

Gardner Minshew is refusing to give up on the job. He wants to win the starting quarterback job in Jacksonville like his life depends on it. Minshew will not take being the back up for an answer. Number two is not an option. So much so that Minshew is refusing to poop. He’s holding his shit in because going for two isn’t an option.

“I’ll say this man, in preparation for the competition, I haven’t taken a shit in weeks,” Minshew recently said during an appearance on Green Light with Chris Long (via Jamal St. Cyr of WJXT4). “Because number two isn’t an option for me. Number two is not an option.”

Bold strategy here Cotton. I’m not sure holding your shit in is going to help you win the job but that’s the kind of guy Minshew is. He doesn’t care about the medical side effects. Going for two isn’t an option so he’s not pooping. Good for him. I respect the move.

I’m curious to see how sustainable this is. We’re in late July. Is this guy not going to poop until the first week of the season? That’s in September. Going to be a long road but Minshew is determined to not take a shit until then. I don’t even know what to say. You think you’ve seen it all, then boom. Guy won’t poop because he wants to win a competition.

What if people at Vendetta had that mentality? Maybe it’s not that impressive. If I told the group they could add a name to Survivor by not pooping, the entire group would do it. Time to raise the stakes, Minshew. Maybe start waxing your eye brows. Who knows. Let’s get weird.