Flag Football Quarterback
This gif sums up most of my experience as a flag football quarterback for all but two games.

My Experience As A Flag Football Quarterback (Wasn’t Pretty)

So I’m sure we’ve all got that one friend who is surprisingly athletic at something. It might be that band kid who’s stupid fast (Matthew if you’re reading this, that was directed at you). Or perhaps that shortish dude who for God knows what reason can shoot a basketball. There’s always someone who’s unexpectedly good at something that’s actually marginally difficult to do. Well for me, that thing was throwing a football. Despite having tiny hands, since my sophomore year of high school I’ve actually had a decent arm. By decent I mean I could throw a ball 40-50 yards in the air and could actually throw an outside the hashes out route. I liked to call myself the Tim Tebow of gym class football because I also happened to be sneaky fast despite being an offensive linemen and I could actually juke a few people out if the occasion called for it. With that being said, this is my experience being a flag football quarterback for about a month of 5v5 flag and then one final game of 7v7.

So when I said I called myself the Tim Tebow of flag football, I really meant it. I’d find ways to run for yards and I’d make some of the difficult throws while absolutely making a balls out of the easy ones. During a tournament, and oh by the way I didn’t know who was on my team until an hour before the first game, I did manage to throw a touchdown. This was against teams of people who like properly practiced for this thing, so I consider that a win. I will not disclose the amount of interceptions I threw and it was probably too many for me to count. I guess I was a bit of a gunslinger and a little stupid… I had a singular great three touchdown performance on the 3rd Tuesday of the “season,” but everything else was a lot of interceptions, a couple rushing touchdowns, and just an overall mess because we had next to no structure! But the real story (or at least the best part of it) came on the last night of the “season.”

It really wasn’t a season, there was one tournament and then just meeting on Tuesdays and Thursdays for two hours to play scrimmage games. However, I played the game of my life on the final Thursday. There were two actual quarterbacks, and then myself and another guy who actually played linebacker. Me and the other dude were pretty clearly outmatched, but one of the actual quarterbacks showed me a few things that made the game a lot easier for me. On the final Thursday, we did two teams for a 7v7 game because it was the last day and we wanted to have fun! The quarterback situation for each team was having one “real” quarterback and either myself or the linebacker sub in for a couple of drives. My team started on offense first and the guy who actually played quarterback threw a pick-six on the first play, and then a three and out on the next drive. One of the coaches there started doing play-by-play and started saying “I don’t know how you can keep that guy out there” and he was starting a QB controversy just for fun on the last day. Then it was my turn to play QB and I just had fun with it. So much space in 7v7, and the slot guy was always open so my strategy was mainly bullet curls and slants for the first drive. We also found ways to mix in read option plays and I snapped some dude’s ankles. He never heard the end of it.

The next drive the entire defense was yelling, “He’s throwing short! He’s throwing short!” The play was “money” which was all hooks. My slot receiver said he was just going to go deep, so that was the new plan with the safety hardly backed up at all. I took the snap, dropped back and threw it deep for a touchdown in the back of the endzone! Was it a bit of a wobbler? Yes, it was a total wobblers. But all touchdowns count for six points so shut up about it. There was another play at the goal line where it was a quick snap and throw for a touchdown. My third passing score came from an underhand throw on the move (very Brett Favre-esque even if I say so myself). I also played tight end for a snap, and caught a touchdown as well so that’s four total scores. Then, add in the rushing threat and me deciding to lower the shoulder in flag football (force of habit okay?) and then it was a damn good day to get the win.

So I guess it was an overall win since I finished with one hell of a game. I graduated from the Tim Tebow of flag football to the Taysom Hill (or Slash) of flag football. I had some great throws, and some, “Dude, what in the hell were you thinking??” Throws. Loved every second of it, and I’d 100% be a flag football quarterback again.

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