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Cole Kmet

(MIKE DINOVO/USA TODAY SPORTS)

Cole Kmet: Disappearing Act Surprising To No One Who Is Actually Intelligent

Cole Kmet
Cole Kmet has entered the fantasy football witness protection program. Here’s why you were stupid if you are surprised. (MIKE DINOVO/USA TODAY SPORTS)

Cole Kmet: Disappearing Act Surprising To No One Who Is Actually Intelligent

Nick Saban has a line and I’m going to steal it for this post. Sometimes the chase itself is better than the capture. Today wasn’t about winning. Today was about doing your homework and the rest of you failed. Maybe Cole Kmet stinks and the rest of you just acted like the things I was telling you weren’t important. That other people’s opinions on anything football or fantasy football related mattered more than mine. Shame on you.

We’re two weeks through the 2022 NFL Season and I have the same stats as Cole Kmet. Zero catches. Zero yards. Zero touchdowns. Touchdowns? Sorry, that feels like the moon to Kmet at this point. I don’t even want to go there because now my expectations are simply too high and Trey knows better than that.

Moving on.

Sorry, not ready yet. Do you think Kmet is at least getting more real kind of action than I am? Look, I certainly wouldn’t say I’m thriving in that department at the moment despite the fact that I look like a greek god without my shirt on right now. I just hope Kmet is doing better in the game than I am. I have the same amount of receptions as he does and I’m blogging on the couch. One could argue I might have caught one of the two targets. Makes you think now doesn’t it? Look… all I’m saying is if he’s not crushing the Soldier Field ladies have thought about doing OnlyFans then the Bears should start donating his salary to me because I would be a hell of a lot more productive with it. Just saying.

Moving on.

Should anyone be surprised that a guy that I said would suck has done nothing through two weeks of what could be a potential third season breakout for a tight end?

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Cole Kmet

Sometimes the chase is better than the capture. The week you do during the grind reflects via the report card on Sundays. If you watch Notre Dame football during the 2017-2019 window, then you knew a few things to be true. The real talent on that team was Chase Claypool and if you thought Cole Kmet was some great tight end prospect you need to start doing drugs because your sober brain is not working.

In the world of the Chinese farmer we always say maybe. Hey, maybe I’m not being fair to Kmet. Darnell Mooney has two receptions for four yards. Well, of course, Mooney has two receptions for four yards. Does anyone view Mooney as a true number one wide receiver? He’s getting double teamed left and right. Good luck winning blanket coverage as a 170-pound guy.

Furthermore, even if you did believe in Kmet as a player (those people have rocks for brains but let’s just let them have their moment. Trust me, it’s all they have and this is me feeling sorry for them) did anyone truly believe this Bears team was going to be an offensive juggernaut? Did we really want to invest high draft resources for fantasy in the Bears offense?

Additionally, didn’t we kinda know the Bears passing attack was going to be dreadful. The Bears have the fewest passing yards in the NFL by a wide margin (169), the fewest attempts (28), the second-worst passer rating (69.2), and also the lowest completion percentage (53.6).

None of that is surprising. Riddle me this. You thought a mediocre at best tight end was going to produce big numbers in that offense? K. Hey, good news is we can’t do worse than zero. Maybe this week coming up we can shoot for 13 yards? I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news but the skies are filled with dark clouds and rain for the Top 10 TE in fantasy people.

We’re talking about a team with a bad offensive line, a second year quarterback still figuring things out, a roster that owes over $56 million in dead money, a new coaching staff that leans defense, and a terrible overall roster that was likely going to have a top 10 pick. Even if you did believe Kmet (rocks for brains) was there ever a world where he was going to dominate in this Bears offense?

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Cole Kmet

To be totally honest; I didn’t have this blog planned. I was going to let Cole Kmet rot in Chicago and enjoy the quiet victory of calling Kmet a nothing talent. After all, my 2020 NFL Draft notes from the NFC North were about as perfect as it gets but what do I know? You actually get all of this information for free and then have the audacity to argue with me. Isn’t that crazy to you?

Moving on.

I saw this Tweet today. I just don’t want to wait another second before ruining the surprise. Drumroll, please.

Puzzling? Puzzling? Ha. That’s what we’re going with? Oh lord help this here child. Oh Lordy, I will tell you. This is the competition? Bless his dear little heart. You better get some real competition down here on earth because they don’t stand a fighting chance when the real war starts. Oh, loooooord help them.

Puzzling? Sheeeesh that sure is a response. Boy, I’ll tell you. Imagine thinking preseason mattered. Imagine looking at Cole Kmet and thinking that guy looked fast and talented. You know, there are times it’s just really hard being crazy. Then I see Tweets like that and I just thank the heavens for giving me a brain that was intelligent. It’s just not worth being stupid. It just isn’t. I would be embarrassed if I said something like that truly and I hope you the reader know that.

Looney Tunes. I’m sure this guy goes to town on himself after drafting Travis Etienne in the fourth round of a snake draft too. If you really get him going maybe he will stick a thumb in the back door if he can get Brandon Aiyuk with his last pick in the 13th mock snake draft he did for the draft.

The only people I truly feel sorry for are the delusional Bear fans that are forced into thinking they have to root for their team. You guys don’t have to put yourself through that pain trust me. It’s better this way.

Cole Kmet sucks and shame on you for doubting Trey’s scouting / fantasy football ability for a singular second. Bend the knee. Give me more money. Kmet can be found in the fantasy football witness protection program. Otherwise known as my back pocket. End of blog.

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